The Worst Spam Ever, Part 7

The Worst Spam Ever!

Part 7...

Then, on February 4, 2003, I received a spam from Franklin Omphile:

SUBJECT:

Dear,

Surely this mail will come to you with great surprise since we never had any previous correspondence. I got your contact
through a very secured directory.

My name is Franklin Omphile a delivery Assistant Manager in a reputable Security Company here in South Africa.

During one of my delivery operation late last year, I stumbled into a dusted consignment in my company vault, the dust arose
my suspicion to investigate this consignment. I later discovered during my investigation that a late military General in one of
the West Africa countries {Sierra-Leone} that was killed during a civil war in the country within the same period deposited
the said consignment over four years ago.

Our company-classified file showed that this consignment contained the sum of Twenty Eight Million US Dollars in Cash (US
$28m) a file held by our late Director of Operation who happened to die three years ago, due to our company secrecy
policy, a classified file will not reflect in any other company directory until a owner come forward for it, little wonder nobody
knows about the original content {US$28m} of the consignment except the official record that stated {Diamond/Gold block
worth of US$28m}, all the late Director’s files are in my position to avoid a leakage.

I believe this is my opportunity to make something out of my life presented to me by the great creator, in other to retrieve this
consignment from our company, I hereby seek for you assistance to act as a foreign associate to the late General who will
be mandated to claim the consignment, I will send you all the document and the paper work needed to be present to our
company to enable us retrieve the consignment.

I have limited knowledge in the business world and I cannot manage these funds myself, I wish to choose you for this
venture and I believe you will be in the position to assist in managing this large sum in a profitable venture and also to help
create a safe heaven for me and my family by making a residence arrangement for us in your country.

I shall expect you to contact me urgently to enable us discuss in details about this transaction. I proposed a commission of
30% [THIRTYPERCENT] of the total sum to you for the expected services and annual 5% of the PROFIT AFTER TAX
RETURNS on investment for the first five years. Thereafter, the terms shall be reviewed.

As I want to trust in your judgment of having your alloyed assistance, I will appreciate that you revert back to me in
affirmation, to enable me give you full details, bearing in mind the utmost confidentiality of this transaction to succeed.

Thank you, as I await your swift response, I will also employ you to reply to this e-mail address frankomphile@hotmail.com

Franklin Omphile

Hmmm. So, you just happened to find a dusty consignment in a vault? Perhaps you should contact Geraldo Rivera, because he loves finding stuff in vaults. And the fact that you found $28 million in cash is WAYYYY more than Geraldo has ever found! And I do find it interesting that your "late Director of Operation" died; was it under unusual circumstances? Perhaps a little foul play? I might keep that fact secret, Franklin, or else you might become suspect number one...

If you are keeping score at home, spammers have now promised me $797.5 million...

On February 6, I received a spam from nelkwam:

SUBJECT: NELSON.

Hello Sir.

I write to intimate you of a matter that requires an urgent attention. But briefly, I am Nelson Kwamba the first son of late Dr.
Emmanuel Kone Kwamba, he was the chairman CEO of the Sierra-Leone national Gold & Diamond Mining Corporation.

It is my pleasure communicating with you for the first time and believe that it will lead to a better relationship between us. I hope
you will not impede the trust and confidence I repose in you.I sent this letter from Abidjan in Cote d'Ivoire here I have an official
refugee status with my mother after leaving our country due to an event that took place on July 2001 which led to the arrest
and detention of my father and six other men after a face off with the Sierra-Leone government on allegation of subversive
activities and treasonable offences which was nothing but a mere political persecution.

After five months in the military detention camp my father was announced dead by the government special press release.
Though I do not know to what extent you are familiar with the event and crisis in Sierra-Leone, however during the disturbance
and prior to my father's death he gave me all the documents for the secret deposit he made in the security company in Abidjan.
The deposit is US $15 Million US Dollars, he made the deposit in one trunk box (cash), but the real content of the box was not
disclosed to the security company officials as this was deposited as personal effect with security reasons.

However I have gone to the security company to confirm the deposit and establish ownership, please I need your assistance
urgently in moving this fund to abroad for investment, when the fund is properly secured we will jointly invest in any
business you consider profitable.

I will be glad for your resolved assistance, I will kindly appreciate if we can talk and emerge words with action. With all honesty
to the stated data in my message, i assure you of the genuity of this proposal. I will particularly be happy if you can handle this
transaction in the most confidential manner since the rest of my life solely depends on this fund.

It is the fear of betrayal from any one around us here that informed my decision to contact a neutral individual like you, and I
want you to educate me on investment potential in your country since I would not like to invest or stay in any of the African
country. I will not hesitate to give you an agreed percentage of the total sum for your assistance, so if you will be able to assist
me, please do urgently reply me for further clarification.

Thank for your anticipated co-operation, May God bless you.(Amen).

Your Sincerely,

Nelson Kwamba.

Hmmm. Let's see. " I want you to educate me on investment potential in your country since I would not like to invest or stay in any of the African country" - well, here is your education on investment potential: buy low, sell high. I am sure that you could buy some shares of Enron real cheap, and it's still probably better than investing "in any of the African country".

On February 7, I received a spam from "my mothers name kate":

SUBJECT: CONTACT ME

AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK,
ABUJA BRANCH,
REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA.

GOODDAY,
I AM BROWN KOME BANK MANAGER OF AFRICAN DEVELOPMENTBANK.
(ADP) ABUJA BRANCH,REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA.

I HAVE URGENT AND VERY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS PROPOSITION FOR YOU.ON
JUNE 6 1997, AN AMERICAN OIL CONSULTANT/ CONTRACTOR WITH THE GOVERNMENT
OF NIGERIA REPUBLIC, MR.JOHN NORMAN MADE A NUMBERED TIME (FIXED)
DEPOSITED FOR TWELVE CALENDAR MONTHS, VALUED AT US$25,000,000.00
(TWENTY-FIVE MILLION DOLLARS) IN MY BRANCH. UPON MATURITY, I SENT A
ROUTINE NOTIFICATION TOHIS FORWARDING ADDRESS BUT GOT NO REPLY. AFTER A
MONTH, WE SENT A REMINDER AND FINALLY WE DISCOVERED FROM HIS CONTRACT
EMPLOYERS, THAT MR. JOHN NORMAN DIED FROM AN AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENT. ON
FURTHER INVESTIGATION, I FOUND OUT THAT HE DID NOT LEAVE A WILL AND ALL
ATTEMPTS TO TRACE HIS NEXT OF KIN WERE FRUITLESS. I THEREFORE MADE
FURTHER INVESTIGATION AND DISCOVERED THAT MR. JOHN NORMAN DID NOT
DECLARE ANY NEXT OF KIN IN ALL HIS OFFICIAL DOCUMENTS, INCLUDING HIS
BANK DEPOSIT PAPERWORK. THIS SUM OF US$25,000,000.00 IS STILL SITTING
IN THE BANK AND THE INTEREST IS BEING ROLLED OVER WITH THE PRINCIPAL
SUM AT THE END OF EACH YEAR. NO ONE WILL COME FORWARD TO CLAIM IT.
ACCORDING TO THE LAWS OF NIGERIA REPUBLIC, AT THE EXPIRATION OF 5
(FIVE) YEARS, THE MONEY WILL REVERT TO THE OWNERSHIP OF THE GOVERNMENT
IF NOBODY APPLIES TO CLAIM THE FUNDS.CONSEQUENTLY, MY PROPOSAL IS THAT
I WILL LIKE YOU AS A FOREIGNER TO STAND IN AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO MR.
JOHN NORMAN SO THAT THE FRUITS OF THIS OLD MAN’S LABOR WILL NOT
GET
INTO THE HANDS OF SOME CORRUPT OFFICIALS. THIS IS SIMPLE, I WILL LIKE
YOU TO PROVIDE ME IMMEDIATELY WITH YOUR FULL NAMES AND ADDRESS SO THAT
THE ATTORNEY WILL PREPARE THE NECESSARY DOCUMENTS AND AFFIDAVITS, WHICH
WILL PUT YOU IN PLACE AS THE NEXT OF KIN. WE SHALL EMPLOY THE SERVICES
OF TWO ATTORNEYS FOR DRAFTING AND NOTARIZATION OF THE WILL AND OBTAIN
THE NECESSARY DOCUMENTS AND LETTER OF PROBATE/ADMINISTRATION IN YOUR
FAVOR FOR THE TRANSFER.A BANK ACCOUNT IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD, WHICH
YOU WILL PROVIDE, WILL THEN FACILITATE THE TRANSFER OF THIS MONEY TO
YOU AS THE BENEFICIARY/NEXT OF KIN. THE MONEY WILL BE PAID INTO YOUR
ACCOUNT FOR US TO SHARE IN THE RATIO OF 60% FOR ME AND 40% FOR
YOU.THERE IS NO RISK AT ALL AS ALL THE PAPERWORK FOR THIS TRANSACTION
WILL BE DONE BY THE ATTORNEY AND MY POSITION AS THE BRANCH MANAGER
GUARANTEES THE SUCCESSFUL EXECUTION OF THIS TRANSACTION. IF YOU ARE
INTERESTED, PLEASE REPLY IMMEDIATELY VIA THE PRIVATE EMAIL ADDRESS
BELOW. UPON YOUR RESPONSE, I SHALL THEN PROVIDE YOU WITH MORE DETAILS
AND RELEVANT DOCUMENTS THAT WILL HELP YOU UNDERSTAND. PLEASE OBSERVE
UTMOST CONFIDENTIALITY, AND REST ASSURED THAT THIS TRANSACTION WOULD BE
MOST PROFITABLE FOR BOTH OF US BECAUSE I SHALL REQUIRE YOUR ASSISTANCE
TO INVEST MY SHARE IN YOUR COUNTRY.
AWAITING YOUR URGENT REPLY

THANKS AND REGARD

MR BROWN KOME

So, let me get this straight: a businessman goes to Nigeria with $25 million, and mysteriously dies in a car accident WITHOUT leaving a will? And you want me to act like this man's next of kin, so that " THE FRUITS OF THIS OLD MAN'S LABOR WILL NOT GET INTO THE HANDS OF SOME CORRUPT OFFICIAL"? Um, and who are you? Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?

On February 11, I received a spam from frederickewe:

SUBJECT: Assistance Required

FOR YOUR URGENT ATTENTION

From: Engr. Frederick Ewe
Federal Ministry of Works & Housing
Federal Secretariat Complex
Ikoyi-Lagos.

Dear Sheppard,

Re: Business Proposal

I am Engr. Frederick Ewe of the Federal Ministry of Works & Housing (FMW&H). Before i proceed, let me inform and make you
aware that no money will be require from you, or you will not spend any money of yours into this transaction.You will only be
required to receive the money.

I wish to solicit your partnership and assistance in prosecuting an urgent and confidential business transaction of a multi-
million dollars range which we can successfully conclude in fourteen banking days.

This business will be highly beneficial to both of us and we shall be working on trust and confidentiality,
It is absolutely 100% risk free and cannot fail.

I came to know of you in my search for a trust worthy and reliable foreigner to assist me in prosecuting
this urgent business . I shall send the details of this business as soon as you acknowledge the receipt
of this letter.

In appreciation of your support, you should endeavour to send me a return mail.
Please, you will also ignore this letter and respect my trust in you by not exposing this transaction, even if you are not interested.

So that we can move forward in this Transaction.

Best Regards,

Engr. Frederick Ewe

NB:

I repeat again that no money of yours will be spend or invested into this transaction as every arrangement have been taken care.
You will only be required to receive the
money.

"Dear Sheppard" - no, my name is Mike. Say it. Mike. I knew you could. Okay. And I am not a shepherd, I am a webmaster. But, I like how you say "no money of yours will be spend or invested into this transaction as every arrangement have been taken care" - then what is my point in this transaction? Oh, yeah, to give you my account numbers so you can empty them...

Moments later, I received a spam from Mr.Muhammed Sanni:

SUBJECT: URGENT MESSAGE

Dear Friend,

This Assistance proposal to you is strictly
Confidential, with due respect. Sorry at this
Perceived confusion or stress you may have received this letter from me, since we have not known ourselves or met previously. Despite that, I am constrained to write you this letter because of the urgency of it.

It is my pleasure to write and inform you, that you were chosen to act as next of Kin to LATE ENG.EDEN ANDREW WILSON. But be rest assured that your contact particulars was given to me after a due search, for a reliable and capable foreigner that will handle confidentially a transfer of huge sum of money from UNION BANK NIGERIA PLC to a foreign bank account.

The deal in details: - a foreigner, LATE ENG.EDEN ANDREW WILSON was an oil merchant/contractor with the Federal Government of Nigeria and resides here in Nigeria not until his untimely death seven year ago in ghastly motor accident.
He had a deposit of (US$32,624,000.00) THIRTY TWO MILLION, SIX HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FOUR THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS, and here with the UNION BANK OF NIGERIA before his death in JULY 1997.

I am his accountant officer at the Union Bank, and till now nobody has serviced this account or shown up for his money since after his death till date. Although, efforts have been made by the bank managements to get in touch with his next of kin or any of his relations, but all to no avail (He had no wife or children).

It’s on this note some top officials of Union Bank, who are fully aware of his the incident resolved and asked me to find and negotiate with a trust worthy foreigner who is willing to assist, and act as the next of kin to the LATE ENG.EDEN ANDREW WILSON, this sum of money is now kept in the DECEASED ACCOUNT of the Union bank, please understand that this money (US$32,624,000.00)when transferred into your account will be used for a joint venture establishment, as may be agreed by both parties involved.

This transaction is 100% risk free, for we have concluded every arrangement to safeguard you in this transaction.

Therefore, if you wish to assist us, hasten up and send the following to enable us effectively process the necessary document for smooth transfer into your account, as to be nominated by you as the next of kin to LATE ENG.EDN ANDREW WILSON; you are urgently required to send to me.

The name to be used in changing the existing next of kin at the bank.

Your private telephone and fax number for fast and safer communication.

I know we have never met or entered into any kind of transaction with you before as to know the extent of your trust and honesty. But based on the recommendation, I personally want to believe that you will not sit on the money if it finally gets to your account.

It is on this note I consider it proper to write and ask for your consent, and permission to support the transfer into your account.

Please, for security reasons acknowledge the receipt of this latter by mailing back through my private e-mail address.

Await your urgent response.

Yours faithfully,

Mr.Muhammed Sanni
N:B Reply me back through my alternative e-mail address: muhammedsanni@mail.gr

My favorite part is this: "It is my pleasure to write and inform you, that you were chosen to act as next of Kin" God, I feel like Miss America. I was chosen, from among hundreds of possible people, to act as next of kin. Mr Sanni, can you let me know exactly how many people were in the running? I want to add this to my resume.

February 13: I received a spam from gomidala1 (hey, isn't that the Queen from The Phantom Menace?):

SUBJECT: please contact me

No 13 VS2
Cethswayo Estate
Generation-South Africa.
Satelite phone no. 882-1646685262
882-1646685262 or 874-762727948 or
871-762727948 or 870-762727948
........................................................................

{HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL}
(RE: TRANSFER OF ($ 126,000.000.00 USD}
{ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY SIX MILLION DOLLAHIGHLY CONFIDENTIALRS)

Dear sir,

We want to transfer to overseas ($ 126,000.000.00 USD)One hundred and
Twenty six million United States Dollars) from a Bank in Africa, I want to
ask you to quietly look for a reliable and honest person who
will be capable and fit to provide either an existing bank account or
to set up a new Bank a/c immediately to receive this money, even an empty
a/c can serve to receive this money, as long as you will
remain honest to me till the end for this important business trusting
in you and believing in God that you will never let me down either now or in
future. I am Dr. Gomi Dala, the Auditor General of a bank in Africa, during
the course of our auditing I discovered a floating fund in an account
opened in the bank in 1990 and since 1993 nobody has operated on
this account again, after going through some old files in the records
I discovered that the owner of the account died without a [heir]
hence the money is floating and if I do not remit this money out
urgently it will be forfeited for nothing. the owner of this account
is Mr. Phillip Morris, a foreigner, and a sailor, and he died, since 1993.
and no other person knows about this account or any thing concerning it,
the account has no other beneficiary and my investigation proved to me as
well that Phillip Morris until his death was the manager Morris
Coy.(pty). SA.

We will start the first transfer with Twenty six million
[$26,000.000] upon successful transaction without any disappoint from your side, we shall
re-apply for the payment of the remaining rest amount
to your account, The amount involved is (USD 126M) One hundred and Twenty Six million
United States Dollars, only I want to first transfer $26,000.000 [Twenty Six
million United States Dollar from this money into a safe
foreigners account abroad before the rest, but I don't know any
foreigner, I am only contacting you as a foreigner because this money can not be
approved to a local person here, without valid international
foreign passport, but can only be approved to any foreigner with valid
international passport or drivers license and foreign a/c because
the money is in us dollars and the former owner of the a/c Mr. Phillip Morris
is a foreigner too, [and the money can only be approved into a foreign a/c.

However, we will sign a binding agreement, to bind us together I got
your contact address from the Girl who operates computer, I am revealing
this to you with believe in God that you will never let me down in this
business, you are the first and the only person
that I am contacting for this business, so please reply urgently so
that I will inform you the next step to take urgently. Send also your private
telephone and fax number including the full details of the account to
be used for the deposit. I want us to meet face to face to build confidence and to sign a
binding agreement that will bind us together before transferring the money
to any account of your choice where the fund will be safe. Before we fly
to your country for withdrawal, sharing and investments. I need your full co-operation to make this work fine.because the
management is ready to approve this payment to any foreigner who has correct
information of this account, which I will give to you, upon your
positive response and once I am convinced that you are capable and will meet
up with instruction of a key bank official who is deeply involved with
me in this business. I need your strong assurance that you will never,never let me down.

With my influence and the position of the bank official we can
transfer this money to any foreigner's reliable account which you can provide with
assurance that this money will be intact pending our physical
arrival in your country for sharing. The bank official will destroy
all documents of transaction immediately we receive this money leaving no
trace to any place and to build confidence you can come immediately to
discuss with me face to face after which I will make this remittance in your
presence and three of us will fly to your country at least two days
ahead of the money going into the account. I will apply for annual leave to get visa immediately I hear from you
that you are ready to act and receive this fund in your account. I will
use my position and influence to obtain all legal approvals for onward
transfer of this money to your account with appropriate clearance
from the relevant ministries and foreign exchange departments.
At the conclusion of this business, you will be given 35% of the total
amount, 60% will be for me, while 5% will be for expenses both
parties might have incurred during the process of transferring.
I look forward to your earliest reply through my email
You should try to call me on my satelite phone no. 882-1646685262 or
874-762727948 or 871-762727948 or 870-762727948. if you are calling
my No. dial the way you use to call other countries, do not put South
African area code, because it is a satellite phone.

Sincerely,

Dr Gomi Dala

Wait - "the owner of this account is Mr. Phillip Morris". Dr. Gala, I know you live in South Africa and probably don't know this, but Philip Morris isn't a sailor, but rather a HUGE tobacco company here in the US. And from what I know, you don't want to be messing with them. I mean people have sued and tried to stop them, but they can't be stopped. You may want to think twice about this...

February 14: I received a spam from peter obi:

SUBJECT: URGENT AND CONFIDENTIAL

Dear sir,
I write you after proper consideration that a telephone correspondence may not be an ideal medium to contact you on this matter.
Firstly, I would like to introduce myself. I am Dr. Peter Obi a senior accountant with the office of the honourable Governor, Central Bank of Nigeria.
To be explicit, recently, in the course of an indepth verification exercise instituted by my office, I made a discovery which prompted this private communication.
While conducting our usual verification exercise before Authorising our overseas correspondence in the united states /Europe to effect payment to our deserving contractors. We discover that one of our deserving beneficiaries Mr. John Emanks, whose payment had since been approved and was to benefit from this payment, died during the recent American september Terrorist Attack. Presently, all effort to locate any of his benefactors has been proved abortive, as they no longer reside at their former home/office address. Consequently, I am soliciting your co-operation in collaboration to divert these funds already approved for payment with our offshore payment centre overseas.
All I require of you is is to forward claims as the sub-contractor with affidavit of Trust of Oath to the Central Bank of Nigeria and also present a foreign Account to assist me receive and invest this money since I am not a foreigner and as such cannot stand as one of the benefactors of late Mr. EMANKS. Immediately, I will transfer every information in the payment file to institute you as the Sub-contractor and the benefactor to the payment of US$18 Million (Eighteen Million U.S.) Dollars already approved for payment through our offshore payment correspondence abroad.
I will be glad to transfer all ownership rights to your name in favour of your company. It is 100% risk free. You will be rewarded with 30% of the total sum transferred nto your account as gratification while 65% will be for us and the remaining 5% mapped out to cover any expenses incurred by you or me before normal sharing.I suggest you get back to me through this my alternatve private Email address Peter_obi2@yahoo.com and furnish me with your private Tel. Fax, and Mobile Tel. Nos for easy communication.
Best Regards
Dr. Peter Obi

That's interesting. The spam says "Mr. John Emanks, ..., died during the recent American september Terrorist Attack", yet a quick search of the names of the victims of September 11th did not list this name among them. Come on, Mr. Obi, you can think of a better story than THAT one. And where the hell was my Valentine's greeting? Bastard. (Oh, and if you are still keeping score, they have now promised me $879.8 million!)

February 18: I received a spam from EZIKE EZIKE:

SUBJECT: Very Important Business (Reply) Immediately----------------------

18 Independence Close,
Johannesburg,
South Africa.

Dear sir,

We want to transfer to overseas the sum of One hundred and Forty Two Million
United States Dollars (U.S.$ 142,000,000.00) from South Africa.

I want to ask you to kindly look for a reliable and honest person who will
be capable and fit to provide either an existing bank account or to set up a
new bank account immediately to receive this money,though an empty bank
account could serve this purpose as long as you will remain honest to me
till the end of this important business trusting in you and believing in God
that you will never let me down either now or in time to come.

I am Mr.Ezike Enetekes.the external auditor of a Bank.During the course of
our auditing,I discovered a floating fund in an account opened in the bank
in 1990 and since 1993 nobody has operated on this account again. After
going through some old files in the records, I discovered that the owner of
the account died without a “Heir apparent to the throne” hence the money is
floating and if I do not remit this money out urgently it will be forfeited
for nothing.

The owner of this account who is Mr.Eshed.B.Willey, a foreigner and an
industrialist died, since 1990,until now no other person(s) knows about this
account or could give any documentary evidence concerning this account. As
such this account has no other beneficiary and my investigation proved to me
as well that Eshed.B.Willey until his death was the manager Oriental Diamond
Company,in South Africa.

However, if you are interested in this business we will start the first
money transfer with Forty Two Million U.S.Dollars(U.S.$42,000,000.00) upon
successful transaction without any disappointment from you. We shall also
re-apply for the payment of the remaining amount to your account.

While the total amount involved is One hundred and Forty Two Million United
States Dollars (U.S.$142,000,000.00)only. I would want us to make a first
transfer of [Forty Two Million United States Dollar.(U.S.$42,000,000.00)from
this money into a safe foreigners account abroad before the rest. I am only
contacting you as a foreigner because this money can not be approved to a
local account, without valid international foreign “Agreement”, but could
only be approved to any foreigner with valid international credentials:
passport or drivers license and foreign account because this sum is in U.S.
dollars and
the former owner of the account Mr.Eshed.B.Willey is a foreigner too, thus
the money could only be approved into a foreign account.

However, knowing all this, we will reach a binding agreement in this
regards.

As a matter of urgency, I will inform you the next step to take, while you
Send your private telephone and fax number including the full details of the
account to be used for the deposit.

I want us to meet face to face to build confidence and to sign a binding
agreement that will bind us together before transferring the money to any
account of your choice where the fund will be safe. Before we fly to your
country for withdrawal, sharing and investments,I need your full
co-operation to make this business a success, because the management is
ready to approve this payment to any foreigner who has correct information
of this account, which I will give to you,upon your positive response and
once I am convinced that you are capable and will meet up with the
instructions of a key bank official who is deeply involved with me in this
business. I need your strong assurance that you will never let me down.

With my influence and the position in the bank we can transfer this money to
any foreigner's reliable account which you can provide with assurance that
this money will be intact pending our physical arrival in your country for
sharing.

And to build confidence that you can come immediately to discuss with me
face to face after which I will make this remittance in your presence and
three of us will fly to your country at least two days ahead of the money
going into the account.

I will apply for annual leave to get visa immediately I hear from you that
you are ready to act as directed.

To prove the authenticity of the business I will use my position and
influence to obtain all legal approvals for onward transfer of this money to
your account with appropriate clearance from the relevant ministries,
foreign exchange departments, embassy and Board of Internal Revenue
Services.

At the conclusion of this business, you will be given 35% of the total
amount, 60% will be for me, while 5% will be for expenses both parties might
have incurred during this process.

I look forward to your earliest reply through Telephone,Fax or my email
address.

Yours truly,

Mr.Ezike Eneteke.
Tel::874-762-919760.
Fax:874-762-919761.

So, let me get this straight: this manager of a diamond company has been dead 13 years, and you want me to help float this money? Come on, get a little more original. Well, if you are keeping score, I have now been promised $929.5 million!

February 18: I received a spam from otuhbu kwayamaia:

SUBJECT: letter from otuhbu kwayamaia

I am Mr Otuhbu Kwayamaia, Bank Manager of ABBEY BANK
,AbdijanBranch,Repulic of Ivory Coast. I have urgent and very
confidentialbusiness proposition for you.I got your contact from the
World TradeCenter (W.T.C) regional office. in Abdijan,Ivory Coast
although the details of myintention was not made known to them. On
June 6 1997,an American oilconsultant/contractor with the Ivory Coast
diamond and mining Corporation,Mr. Barry Kelly made a numbered time
(Fixed) deposited fortwelve calendar months,valued at
US$11,600,000.00 (Eleven Million,Six Hundred Thousand Dollars) in my
branch. Upon maturity, I senta routinenotificationto his forwarding
address but got no reply.After a month, we sent a reminder and
finally we discovered from his contract employers, Ivory Coast
diamond and mining Corporation that Mr. Barry Kelly died from an
automobile accident.On further investigation, found out that he did
not leave a WILL andall attempts to trace his nextof kin were
fruitless. I therefore made further investigation and discoveredthat
Mr. Barry Kelly did not declare any next of kin in all his official
documents, including his Bank Depositpaperwork. This sum of
US$11,600,000.00 is still sitting in the Bank and the interest is
beingrolled over with the principal sum at the endof each year. No
one will come forward to claim it.According to the Ivory Coast Law,
at the expiration of 6{Six} years, the money will revert to the
ownership of the Ivory Coast Government if nobody applies to claim
the funds.Consequently, my proposal is that I will likeyou as a
foreigner to standin as the next of kin to Mr. Barry Kelly so that
the fruits of this old man'slabor will not get into the hands of
some corrupt government officials This is simple;
1) I will like you to provide me immediately with your full
namesand address so that the attorney will preparethe necessary
documents and affidavits, which will put you in place as the next
of kin. { 2)We shall employ the services of two attorneys for
drafting and notarization of the WILL and obtain the necessary
documents and letter of probate/administration in your favor for the
transfer.
3) A bank account in any part of the world, which you provide,
will then facilitate the transfer of this money to you as the
beneficiary/nextof kin of Mr.Barry Kelly. The money will be paid into
your account for us to share in the ratio of 60% for me and 40% for
you.There is no risk at all as all the paperwork for this transaction
will be done by the attorney and my position as the Branch Manager
guarantees the successful execution of this transaction. If you are
interested, please reply immediately via the private email address
below. Upon your response, I shall then provide you with more details
and relevant documents that will help you understand. Please observe
utmost confidentiality, and rest assured that this transaction would
be most profitable for both of us because I shall require your
assistance to invest my share in your country. Awaiting your urgent
reply via email

Thanks and regards
Mr Otuhbu Kwayamaia

Another rich foreigner died mysteriously in Africa. Which leads me to ask - what was a rich oil consultant doing with a DIAMOND AND MINING COMPANY? Sounds like foul play to me...

Then, six minutes later, I received a spam from the same ISP but this time it was addressed as from "galdima hassan". Tell me, does this look a little suspicious to you?

SUBJECT: letter from galdima hassan

DEAR SIR

I am the director of procurement, Nigeria
telecommunication Plc (Nitel) and a close associate of the
immediate past Director of Finance.

We are presently in apposition to recieve the sum of Six Million;
Three Hundred thousand
United States Dollars only ($6.3), acquired from
deliberately over-invoiced contracts involving the Nigerian
telecommunication Plc (Nitel)into a private oversea account.

The funds need to be claimed out of my corporations overseas
account.This is due to the ongoing privatisation excercise going on
in my country to better the nascent democratic government my
government has with immediate effect instructed that all contacts
that have been fully executed should be paid fully it is to this
effect that we sort your unflinching assistance as it will be noted
that once the over invoiced sum of $6.3 Million dollars is not
claimed it would be remitted back to my country and declared excess
windfall thereby returning back to the government
coffers. due to the present privatization exercise going on, which
will make
transfers impossible after the NITEL has
been fully acquired in the on going national
Privatization excursive.

I have made proper arrangement/documentation to
transfer the above-mentioned funds thatis retained in a coded
account of NITEL in financial institution that is responsible for
payment of already concluded contracts.
We are soliciting that you help us to receive the
fund in trust.
We cannot complete this transaction smoothly without the
participation of a foreign partner who would provide an account where
the funds could
be lodged. Since the source of the funds is related with foreign
contracts and payments, the funds must be remitted to a foreign
account.

The remittance of the funds requires little
documentation that would be completed as soon as you provide us with
a secured bank account where you may wish to receive the money
preferably an empty but active account.
Since it may difficult for you to divulge such
private information, it may help if you can leave a phone number or
email me for further advise.

There is no risk involved on your part in this
transaction since the former director and I

have perfected all modalities to have a smooth
transaction

What we require from you by Fax or Email are viz:

{i} Acceptance letter of this offer

{ii} Your name/company name and confidential
telephone and fax numbers

{iii} Convincing Honesty, Trustworthiness and
Willingness to abide by the requirements ofthis proposal paramount
of which is Confidentiality.

We have agreed that you will retain 20% of the
entire US$6,300,000.00 for your effort in this transaction, 70% for
us partners here in Nigeria and the remaining 10%will be used for
refunds of incidental cost in the course of this transfer.

Please reply urgently by e-mail or phone call
+234-1-7757347 as we expect that the
transaction will not take more than ten working days.
Best regard

ENGR.GALADIMA HASSAN.
+234-1-7757347
hassan_nitel@email.com

Director of procurement
NITEL

Hmmm. It's interesting that Mr. Kwayamaia and Mr. Hassan didn't run into each other as they both composed their spams from SIOTEL NIGERIA LIMITED in Lagos, Nigeria. Funny, that... BTW, my total is now up to $935.4 million promised by these guys...

February 23: I received two spams from Kethson Camardo:

SUBJECT: Urgent And Confidential.

No 8 Garden Avenue
Johannesburg,
South Africa.
Satelite phone no.
882-1646685262
{URGENT AND CONFIDENTIAL}
(RE: TRANSFER OF ($ 126,000.000.00 USD}
{ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY SIX MILLION DOLLARS)

Dear sir,

We want to transfer to overseas ($ 126,000.000.00 USD) One hundred and
Twenty six million United States Dollars) from a Bank in Africa, I want to
ask you to quietly look for a reliable and honest person who will be capable
and fit to provide either an existing bank account or to set up a new Bank
a/c immediately to receive this money,even an empty a/c can serve to receive
this money, as long as you will remain honest to me till the end for this
important business trusting in you and believing in God that you will never
let me down either now or in future.

I am Mr. Kethson Camardo, the Auditor General of a bank in Africa, during
the course of our auditing I discovered a floating fund in an account
opened in the bank in 1990 and since 1993 nobody has operated on
this account again, after going through some old files in the records I
discovered that the owner of the account died without a [heir] hence the
money is floating and if I do not remit this money out urgently it will be
forfeited for nothing. the owner of this account is Mr. Phillip Morris, a
foreigner, and a sailor, and he died, since 1993. and no other person
knows about this account or any thing concerning it, the account has no
other beneficiary and my investigation proved to me as well that Phillip
Morris until his death was the manager Morris & Morris Coy.(pty). SA.

We will start the first transfer with Twenty six million [$26,000.000] upon
successful transaction without any disappoint from your side, we shall
re-apply for the payment of the remaining rest amount to your account, The
amount involved is (USD 126M) One hundred and Twenty Six million United
States Dollars, only I want to first transfer 26,000.000 [Twenty Six million
United States Dollar from this money into a safe foreigners account abroad
before the rest, but I don't know any foreigner, I am only contacting you as
a foreigner because this money can not be approved to a local person here,
without valid nternational foreign passport, but can only be approved to any
foreigner with valid
international passport or drivers license and foreign a/c because the money
is in us dollars and the former owner of the a/c Mr. Phillip
Morris is a foreigner too, [and the money can only be approved into a
foreign a/c.

However, we will sign a binding agreement, to bind us together I got your
contact address from the Girl who operates computer, I am revealing this to
you with believe in God that you will never let me down in this business,
you are the first and the only person that I am contacting for this
business, so please reply urgently so that I will
inform you the next step to take urgently. Send also your private telephone
and fax number including the full details of the account to be used for the
deposit.

I want us to meet face to face to build confidence and to sign a binding
agreement that will bind us together before transferring the money to any
account of your choice where the fund will be safe. Before we fly to your
country for withdrawal, sharing and investments.

I need your full co-operation to make this work fine because the management
is ready to approve this payment to any foreigner who has correct
information of this account, which I will give to you, upon your
positive response and once I am convinced that you are capable and will meet
up with instruction of a key bank official who is deeply involved with me in
this business.

I need your strong assurance that you will never,never let me down. With my
influence and the position of the bank official we can transfer this money
to any foreigner's reliable account which you can provide
with assurance that this money will be intact pending our physical arrival
in your country for sharing. The bank official will destroy all documents of
ransaction immediately we receive this money leaving no trace to any place
and to build confidence you can come immediately to discuss with me face
to face after which I will make this remittance in your presence and three
of us will fly to your country at least two days ahead of the money going
into the account.

I will apply for annual leave to get visa immediately I hear from you that
you are ready to act and receive this fund in your account. I will use my
position and influence to obtain all legal approvals for onward
transfer of this money to your account with appropriate clearance from the
relevant ministries and foreign exchange departments.

At the conclusion of this business, you will be given 35% of the total
amount, 60% will be for me, while 5% will be for expenses both parties might
have incurred during the process of transferring.

You should try to call me on my satelite phone no. 882-1646685262. if you
are calling my No. dial the way you use to call other countries, do not put
South African area code, because it is a satellite phone.

I look forward to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

Mr. Kethson Camardo.

Hmmm. This spam looks exactly the same as the one I received from Dr. Gomi Dala on February 13, even down the amounts offered. Hmmm - think there might be something fishy going on?

I also received this one from Mr. Bovi (is this Jon Bovi? Hahaha, I crack myself up...):

FROM: MR ADUZA BOVI
AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING UNIT.
FOREIGN OPERATIONS DEPARTMENT.
BANQUE TOGOLAISE POUR LE COMMERCE ET L'INDUSTRIE,
LOME- TOGO.
TEL:(228) 911 29 11

Dear friend,

I am MR ADUZA BOVI, the director in charge of auditing
and accounting section of Banque Togolaise Pour Le
Commerce Et L'Industrie Lome-Togo in West Africa with due
respect and regard. I have decided to contact you on a
business transaction that will be very beneficial to both
of us at the end of the transaction .

During our investigation and auditing in this bank, my
department came across a very huge sum of money belonging
to a deceased person who died on November 1st 1999 in a
plane crash and the fund has been dormant in his account
with this Bank without any claim of the fund in our
custody either from his family or relation before our
discovery to this development.Although personally, I keep
this information secret within myself and partners to
enable the whole plans and idea be Profitable and
successful during the time of execution. The said amount
was (U.S $15M UNITED STATES DOLLARS).

Meanwhile all the whole arrangement to put claim over
this fund as the bonafide next of kin to the deceased,
get the required approval and transfer this money to a
foreign account has been put in place and directives and
needed information will be relayed to you as soon as you
indicate your interest and willingness to assist us and
also benefit your self to this great business opportunity.

In fact I could have done this deal alone but because of
my position in this country as a civil servant(A
Banker),we are not allowed to operate a foreign account
and would eventually raise an eye brow on my side during
the time of transfer because I work in this bank. This is
the actual reason why it will require a second party or
fellow who will forward claims as the next of kin with
affidavit of trust of
oath to the Bank and also present a foreign account where
he will need the money to be re-transferred into on his
request as it may be after due verification and
clarification by the correspondent branch of the bank
where the whole money will be remitted from to your own
designation bank account.

I will not fail to inform you that this transaction is
100% risk free. On smooth conclusion of this
transaction, you will be entitled to 30% of the total sum
as gratification, while 10% will be set aside to take
care of expenses that may arise during the time of
transfer. while 60% will be for me and my partners.

Please, you have been adviced to keep "top secret" as we
are still in service and intend to retire from service
after we conclude this deal with you. I will be
monitoring the whole situation here in this
bank until you confirm the money in your account. and ask
us to come down to your country for subsequent sharing of
the fund according to percentages previously indicated
and further investment, either in your country or any
country you advice us to invest in.

All other necessary vital information will be sent to
you when I hear from you.I suggest you get back to me as
soon as possible stating your wish in this deal.

I look forward to hear from you asap.

Yours faithfully,

MR Aduza Bovi

Another person visiting Africa with a lot of money who mysteriously died in a plane crash. I am shocked... Still, I have been promised $984 million so far...

Will I get promised enough to break $1 BILLION?

Continue on to Part 8