The Worst Spam Ever, Part 5

The Worst Spam Ever!

Part 5...

On November 8, 2002, I got this spam:

From Williams Bully

A CRY FOR HELP

I am Mr. Williams Bully, the first son of George Bully
the former controller of Liberian Custom Service Zone
B.

Following the recent ominous (bad) development in
Liberia, where the current President Charles Taylor
has vowed to persecute and eliminate anybody who says
the truth, anybody who has the interest to seek for
any elective post especially the post of the
Presidency in Liberia, any body who say out his or her
humble opinion against his opinion, anybody who is not
in support of his bad and dangerous deeds whether old
or young, even students are not left out.

The worst happened recently especially to me when this
particular dictator (Charles Taylor) use his security
agents arrested my father and other important and
eminent personalities whom he felt that were against
his administration or government and put them in the
jail. Just because my father and other eminent
citizens in Liberia were 100% against his (Charles
Taylor) support and sponsoring of the rebels group
that are against the government of Tidjan Kabar of
Sierra Leone. Which had led to United Nations (UN)
sanction against Liberia. He did not end there, he
went ahead frozen my father’s accounts and also
confiscate all our properties. Infact this dictator
(Charles Taylor) has wrecked my family’s plans in
short I am in a state of confusion and traumatic.

As if that was not enough, one day we were in the
school, of cause I am a student of Liberian University
Monrovia. In short I am narrating all these things to
you now with tears from my two eyes. We received
information that President Charles Taylor has sent his
security agents to come to the University and arrest
all students that oppose his administration, on
getting the information; I got in torch with my
younger brother who is a student in the same
University together with other many students off the
school compound. Knowing full well that our
conditions are precarious, before the security
operatives could got into the University compound. We
quickly rushed to the seaport where we boarded Swedish
registered ship along side with old people and
children to Nigeria. The ship we boarded from an
impeccable source was said to have been declared
unseaworthy since 1998. We also paid the Swedish
captain for conveyed us to Nigeria. When we got to
Ghana on June 1st, the Ghanaian officials only allowed
the ship to discharge its Ghanaian passengers in
Ghana, while we Liberian were not allowed to
disembark. While we were on the sea we suffered a
lot, both from starvation, hunger and lack of
medicare. But among all I thank God Almighty for
getting us out of the shores of Liberia especially my
younger brother and I.

For your confirmation and for you to know and believe
me that I am telling you the truth of my life. Please
this same information can be gotten in this widely
daily newspaper called VANGUARD on Internet website:
http://www.vanguardngr.com VANGUARD - TUESDAY, JUNE
26, 2001, VOL 17: NO 4781. With the caption ”170
Liberians aboard Swedish ship cry for food” you can
check this for your confirmation.

So right now I must tell you the truth, I am under a
state of confusion and frustration. Leaving behind
with only one hope for my family and me. And what is
that hope? That is why I am serious need of your
assistant.

When my father was in government then controller
Liberian Customs Service Zone B, he used his position
safely stashed away the sum of $27.2m US Dollars
(Twenty seven Million, Two hundred thousand dollars)
as if he knew it would be like this today.

Though according to him, he would use this fund to
contest for elective position in Liberia. Through a
diplomatic channel and by the help of a senior finance
official with a security company in an oversea with
code this money was in consignment and was disguised
and also quoted to have belonged to a foreigner all
coded. It is on that note I deemed it necessary to
contact you to be the foreign partner and to act as a
trustee in order to claim this huge money which is my
last hope and my family too. For safe keeping and
probably investing it to a right channel as you are
more expose and experienced than me, for I am confused
to what I am going to do with that huge amount of
money for now.

If you have the concern, conscience, sympathy in
helping me out of this ugly situation, please indicate
your interest immediately so that I can furnish you
with the full and necessary information about this
fund (The country where this money is right now, the
name of the credit and security company, their contact
number and the lodgment code which is the most
important). As I cannot disclose all these important
information now for security reasons. I am promising
you that there is nothing to fear in this transaction
since I have all vital and necessary information about
this particular money, so is riskless.

Infact, just to tell you how keen and serious I am
over this, you are entitled to the sum of $7m US
Dollars from the total sum, after the transaction.

Finally, if you are in agreement of helping me and my
family out of this ugly situation we are in now, at
least for humanity sake, please you kindly notify me
urgently through my e-mail address. Also endeavor to
forward your private telephone and fax numbers for
easy communication between us.

God bless you, as you consider my situation and my
family conditions.

Best regards

Williams Bully.

This was a first for me - a spam from Liberia. Still, I don't like bullies (haha - get it, the guy's name is "Bully"?), so I am going to pass on this offer! Hahahaha - I crack myself up some times... But, a flat $7 million will bring my total promised up to $560.66 million!

On November 10, 2002, I got this spam:

SUBJECT: It gives me joy as a child to write you

Hi, How are you doing, I am so happy to write you this mail, I was thinking of who I can really discuss my problems with, so I decided that I should write you, I am not the kind of person who would send something like this out to you unless I had actually thought of it, well I know that I am a very young girl compare to your age, but I choosed to write you, because I know that you can be able to give me good advise that you can also give to your child, in such I want you to take me as your daughter. My name is Obaseki Omorogieva and I am a 17 years old girl, I was a computer science student of the City Computer Technology, Benin City, Nigeria before I recently lost both parents to a ghastly motor accident, My dad is a Nigerian and my mum was from Ghana, I was born in Nigeria, but after the death of my parents, I started staying with my dad sister, that was when my problems started, my Aunty is not all that too educated, I can say she does not know the value of education, she has been trying to persuade me into prostitution, 3 of her daughters are prostituting in Europe, but I told her that I want to continue my studies, she frowned at all my plead to get money from her to resume school. I have not been able to pay for my school fees, and that has been my major problem since all this while, the cost of my school fees is N21,500 which is equilvanlent to $215, I have been begging her but to no avail, but she is still bent on persuading me to go into prostitution, I have been seeking for assistance here in Nigeria, but most people that I can reach are very poor, good education is what I need now and I just have to be begging to have it, my late parents always told me that if I dedicate my time and become well educated that I will become great, but I can now see it as something that I might never achieve, please give me your advise, I want to realise the dream that my parents had for me, the only resort now for me is to beg and please don't look down on me for that reason, it is circumstance that lead me to this. please let me just ask this favor from you, I pray you willing be to help me, but it is never my intention to ask you for assistance to pay my school fees, but it is the time limit that I have to pay for my tuition that is bothering me, if I am able to raise the money for my school fees then I will go and resume school and also I want to leave my Aunty, I want to be staying the school dormitory and avoid my Aunty, please just take me as your daughter, if I had known any of my mums relative, they would have been the ones to help me out, considering the fact that I am not in any position to ask you for assistance, I will be most grateful if you can consider me as your daughter and help me in paying my tuition, if I am able to pay for my fees the school promised to give me free accomodation in the dormitory, please just do this for me, let that which you want to give to me be your own way of eradicating prostitution, I will be expecting your mail to know how you can help me. My regards to your family and may the good Lord continue to bless you, Amen.
Sincerely Yours
Obaseki Omorogieva
I sent an Angel to watch over you while you were asleep but the Angel came back earlier than I expected, and I asked the Angel why, and he said, Angels don't watch over Angels.
May you be an Angel to someone in need, Amen.
.

This one was a little different than the rest. Rather than appealing to my sense of greed, this one attempts to appeal to my sense of decency. Unfortunately, I don't have one. So, I edited this "girl's" e-mail to one that will probably have a better appeal:

SUBJECT: It gives me joy to write you

Hi, How are you doing, I am so happy to write you this mail. I was thinking of you. I am a very young girl compare to your age, but I choosed you, because I know that you can be able to give me good. I am a 17 years old girl into prostitution. I have been begging for what I need now and I just have to be begging to have it, that I will become great, but I can now see it as something that I might realise the dream that my parents had for me. please let me just ask this from you, I pray you willing be to raise and resume any position, I will be most grateful if you can consider me your own way of prostitution.
Sincerely Yours
Orgaski Omorogieva'tome

I know, I still crack myself up...

On November 14, 2002, I received the following from an alleged fellow engineer:

Dear Sir,
I am the Chairman Contract Review Committee of National Electric Power
Authority (NEPA). Although this proposal might come to you as a surprise since
it is coming from someone you do not know or ever seen before, but after due
deliberation with my colleagues, I decided to contact you based on Intuition.
We are soliciting for your humble and confidential assistance to take custody
of Seventeen Million , Five Hundred Thousand United StatesDollars.
{US$17,500,000.00}.
This sum (US$17.5M) is an over invoiced contract sum which is currently in
offshore payment account of the Central Bank of Nigeria as an unclaimed
contract entitlement which can easily be withdrawn or drafted or paid to any
recommended beneficiary by my committee.
On this note, you will be presented as a contractor to NEPA who has
executed a contract to a tune of the above sum and has not been paid.
Proposed Sharing Partern (%):
1. 70% for me and my colleagues.
2. 20% for you as a partner/fronting for us.
3. 10% for expenses that may be incure by both parties during the cause of this
transacton. Our law prohibits a civil servant from operating a foreign
account, hence we are contacting you.
If this proposal satisfies you, do response as soon as possible with the
following information:
1. The name you wish to use as the beneficiary of thefund.
2. Your Confidential Phone and Fax Numbers. Further discussion will be
centered on how the fund shall be transferred and full details on how to
accomplish this great opportunity of ours.
You can also contact me on my direct telephone number XXXX-XXXX-XXXX.
Thank you and God bless.
Best regards,
Engr. Laide Phillip

Another 20% of $17.5 million, which comes to about $3.5 million for this "transacton". And one thing that amazes me is how these amounts all come out to even US dollar amounts instead of the Nigerian currency, which is the "naira." I would think that the amount would actually be 17.5 million Nairas, which, when looking at the inflation in Nigeria, would probably come out to US $1.25...

Still, my total is now: $564.16 million!

Then, the next day, I heard from a doctor:

Attn:

I am Dr Godwin Igbunu, the Bank Manager of Regent
Bank of Nigeria, Lagos Branch. I have urgent and very
confidential business proposition for you.

On June 6, 1997, a FOREIGN Oil Consultant/Contractor
with the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation, Mr.
Roger Berget made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit for
twelve calendar months, valued at US$8,000,000.00
(Eight Million Dollars) in my branch.

Upon maturity, I sent a routine notification to his
forwarding address but got no reply. After a month,
we sent a reminder and finally we discovered from his
contract employers, Ministry of Defence headquater in
Abuja that Mr. Roger Berget died from an
automobile accident. On further investigation, I found
out that he died without making a WILL, and all
attempts to trace his next of kin to date has
fruitless.

I therefore made further investigation and discovered
that Mr. Roger Berget did not declare any kin or
relations in all his official documents, including his
Bank Deposit paperwork in my Bank. This sum of
US$8,000,000.00 is still sitting in my Bank and the
interest is being rolled over with the principal sum
at the end of each year.

No one will ever come forward to claim it. According
to Nigerian Law, at the expiration of 5 (five) years,
the money will revert to the ownership of the Nigerian
Government if nobody applies to claim the fund.
Consequently, my proposal is that I will like you as
an Foreigner to stand in as the next of kin to Mr.
Roger Berget so that the fruits of this old man's labor
will not get into the hands of some corrupt government
officials.

This is simple, I will like you to provide immediately
your full names, address, telephone and fax numers so
that the Attorney will prepare the necessary documents
and affidavits, which will put you in place as the
next of kin. We shall employ the service of two
Attorneys for drafting and notarization of the WILL
and to obtain the necessary documents and letter of
probate/administration in your favor for the transfer.

A bank account in any part of the world, which you
will provide, will then facilitate the transfer of
this money to you as the beneficiary/next of kin. The
money will be paid into your nominated account for us
to share in the ratio of 70% for me, 25% for you and
5% to cover any accidental expenses on either sides
during the course of this transaction.

There is no risk at all as all the paperwork for this
transaction will be done by the Attorney and my
position as the Branch Manager guarantees the
successful execution of this transaction. If you are
interested, please reply immediately via this email
address. Upon your response, I shall then provide you
with more details and relevant documents that will
help you understand the transaction better.

Please observe utmost confidentiality, and rest
assured that this transaction would be most profitable
for both of us because I shall require your assistance
to invest my share in your country. Looking forward to
hearing from you soonest.

Best regards,

Dr Godwin Igbunu

25% of $8 million is another $2 million to me... But why is a doctor running a bank branch? And how does one become a doctor if they can't spell words like "headquater " or "numers"? My total is now $566.16 million.

But wait! There's more! On November 21, 2002, I got two identical spams from two different e-mail addresses:

MISS KABBAH TARAWALLY
ABIDJAN COTE D'IVOIRE

Attention:Managing Director

I am Miss KABBAH TARAWALLY an account officer with a Bank
in
Central Business District in Abidjan Cote d'Ivoire.

I am the account officer in-charge of a suspense account
with the sum of $7.5M USD belonging to one Late Mr HAMILTON
GHOA,a Cocoa Merchant from Gambia who died in a ghastly
car accident 5 Months ago here in Abidjan Cote d' Ivoire.

I have tried so many times to contact the address of the
next of kin indicated in the lodgement receipt because
based on the confidence he had in me before his demise, he
gave me a copy of this lodgement receipt , all efforts to
reach any member of his family has been so fruitless.

As the account officer in-charge, I have absolutely
knowledge and control over the fund.

Now I need a partner who is ready to process and receive
these fund on a sharing ration of 40/60%. Please let me
know if you are interested in providing an account where I
can arrange the transfer of the fund to you as the next of
kin.
It is absolutely important a legalised change of ownership
is done in your names as the current recipient/beneficiary
of this fund based on the fact that the fund is in a
suspense bank account. This would enhance an easy release
of the money to your account.

I will ensure the transaction is completed within a fews
days with your co- operation, please send a reply and also
send to me your telephone/fax number via my email address
if you are ready for this
transaction.

Best Regards

MISS KABBAH TARAWALLY

Another "ghastly car accident " - perhaps they should use some of their money on national defensive driving lessons! But, another 40% of $7.5 million means my new total is now $569.16 million!

On November 28, 2002, another doctor turned bank manager spams me:

ECO INTERNATIONAL BANK HEADQUARTERS
PLOT 84 AJOSE ADEOGUN STREET
VICTORIA ISLAND LAGOS

ATTN:PRESIDENT/CHAIRMAN

STRICTLY A PRIVATE BUSINESS PROPOSAL

I am DR.Waziri Sariki Ibrahim,a manager in the Bills and Exchange
at the Foreign Remittance Department of the ECO INTERNATIONAL BANK I am writing this letter to ask for your support and cooperation to carry out this
business opportunity in my department. We discovered an abandoned
sum of$15,000,000.00 (Fifteen million United States Dollars only) in
an account that belongs to one of our foreign customers who died
along with his entire family of a wife and two children in November
1997 in a Plane crash.

Since we heard of his death, we have been expecting
his next-of-kin to come over and put claims for his money as the heir,
because we cannot release the fund from his account unless someone
applies for claim as the next-of-kin to the deceased as indicated
in our banking guidelines.Unfortunately, neither their family member
nor distant relative has everappeared to claim the said fund.

Upon this discovery, I and other officials in my department have agreed to
make business with you and relea! se the total amount into your account as the heir of the fund since no one came for it or discovered he maintained account with our bank, otherwise the fund will be returned to the banks treasury as
unclaimed fund.We have agreed that our ratio of sharing will be as
stated thus;20 % for you as foreign partner,75 % for us the
officials in my department and 5 % for the settlement of all local and
foreign expences incurred by us and you during the course of this
business.
Upon the successful completion of this transfer, I and
one of my colleagues will come to your country and mind our share. It
is from our 75 % we intend to import Agricultural Machineries into my
country as a way of recycling the fund. To commence this
transaction, we require you to immediately indicate your interest by a return
e- mail and enclose your private contact telephone number, fax number
full name and address and your designated bank coordinates to
enable us file letter of claim to the appropriate departments for
necessary approvals before the transfer can be made.

Note also, this transaction must be kept STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL
because of its nature.I look forward to receiving your prompt
response. FAX NUMBERXXX-X-XXXXXXX

Best Regarde

Dr.Waziri Sariki Ibrahim

Perhaps this is a reason for the bad AIDS epidemic in Africa - all their doctors are working in banks! Another measly 20% of $15 million (only $3 million?), so my new total is $572.16 million!

On November 30, 2002, I received a spam from another senator. You would think that he would have heard that the previous attempt was unsuccessful and filled in the rest of the group...

FROM THE DESK OF;SENATOR MIKE AJEGBO,
!07 SECTARIAT ROAD IKOYI LAGOS
NIGERIA.
e-MAIL;[withheld]

Dear sir,

On behalf of group of Nigeria Senators i hereby
propose the above to you.

I am Senator Mike Ajegbo Chairman Senate Committee on
Contracts Review and foreign payments. There is
presently available the sum of US$50m {Fifty Million
United States Dollars} which members of this committee
wish to transfer into your account, to be used for our
re-election in 2003 general elections in Nigeria.

SOURCE OF FUND. This amount was realized from inflated
or over-invoiced aspect of contracts executed by some
foreign firms in 1999 when Nigeria hosted the world
youth soccer Championship.ln the course of our duty we
observed that there were some un-paid claims.lt is one
of them that we intend to lodge into your bank account
for our mutual benefit.

REMUNERATION. We have unanimously agreed that you will
be entitled to 30% of the total sum, while 10%
is set aside to offset expenses incurred during the
transaction.

INVESTMENT. You will be required to place 60% of the
total sum into any high yield investment facility in
your country, for an initial duration of 8 months.
During the 2003 elections, you will return 30% to us,
but this time as a foreign loan for our election
purposes. The accrued interest and the remaining 30%
is what you will re-invest in the same process for a
period of 4 years.

OPERATIONAL MODALITIES. We shall present you as one of
the contractors awaiting payment for over-due contract
payment for job executed for the Federal Republic of
Nigeria in 1999.Application for claims, processing of
approvals will be undertaken by my committee in
conjunction with some highly placed officials, to
ensure that fund is wired into your nominated bank
account.

REQUIREMENTS. Your company details, banking details,
as well as your confidential tel and fax numbers
should be sent to me immediately to indicate your
interest.

CONCLUSION. You do not stand any risk at all for being
parts of this project, and your present line of
business or profession is no hindrance. Honestly, our
re-election in 2003 will be determined by this
transaction and your ability to partner with us in all
sincerity will enhance its success.

Note: That this transaction is expected to last
between 7-14 days from the time we received this
information, so i am waiting for your reply via my
private e-mail address [withheld]

Thanks for your co-operation and understanding while
your urgent response is expected.

Yours faithfully

Senator Mike Ajegbo (for the group)

My private e-mail address [withheld]

This guy really wants to make sure I know his e-mail, as he had it listed THREE times in his e-mail! Still, why does a senator have a Lagos address when the capital is actually Abuja? Perhaps because he isn't really a senator? Perhaps because I know more about Nigerian geography than a spammer who actually lives there? Still, 30% of $50 million makes my total promised now $587.16 million!

On December 4, 2002, I heard again from Mrs Mariam Abacha:

PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL.
I am Mrs Maryam Abacha. I got your contact from my private search for a reliable and trusted foreign partner. Following the sudden death of my husband General Sani Abacha the late Former Head of State of Nigeria in 1998, I have been thrown into a state of utter confusion, frustration and hopelessness
by the present civilian administration, I have been subjected to physical and psychological torture by the security agents in the country.
As a widow that is so traumatized, I have lost confidence with anybody within the country. You must have heard over the media reports and the internet on the recovery of various huge sums of money deposited by my husband in different security firms abroad, some companies willingly give up their secrets and disclosed our money confidently lodged there or many outright blackmail. In fact the total sum discovered by the Government so far is in the tune of $700. Million dollars. And they are not relenting to make me poor for life.
I will give you more information as to this regard as soon as you reply. I repose great confidence in you hence my approach to you due to security network placed on my day to day affairs I cannot afford to visit the embassy so that is why I decided to contact you and I hope you will not betray my confidence in you. I have deposited the sum of US$22 million dollars with a security firm abroad whose name is withheld for now until we open communication.
I shall be grateful if you could receive this fund into your account for safekeeping. This arrangement is known to you and my family lawyer who shall deal directly with you as I am still under house arrest. I am seriously considering to settle down abroad as soon as this fund get into your account so that I can start all over again if only you wish, but if it is possible, just help me in diverting this funds into your bank account which will accrue you 20% of this fund. Please honesty is the watchword in this transaction. And should you accept my terms, kindly send me an email signifying your interest to my email box as this is only safe for me now so that we can commence communication immediately. And upon receipt of your message of interest, I shall give you a more detailed picture of things. In case you don't accept please do not let me out to the security as I am giving you this information in total trust and confidence.NO RISK IS INVOLVED AS IAM STILL IN CONTROL OF MY HUSBANDS AFFAIRS. I will greatly appreciate if you accept my proposal in good faith.
Please expedite action.
Prefer all further correspondence be sent via [withheld]
sincerely yours
Hajia Maryam Abacha.

Only 20% of $22 million? Only 6 months ago, you promised me almost double that! Still, I'll take credit for that amount, giving me a total of $591.56 million promised!

On December 6, 2002, I received this spam:

STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL & URGENT.

I am Mr, PATRICK FOSTER a native of Cape Town in
South Africa and I am an Executive Accountant with
the South Africa DEPARTMENT OF MINERAL RESOURCES AND ENERGY
First and foremost, I apologized using this medium to
reach you for a transaction/business of this magnitude,
but this is due to Confidentiality and prompt access
reposed on this medium.

I have decided to seek a confidential
co-operation with you in the execution of the deal
described Hereunder for the benefit of all parties
and hope you will keep it as a top secret because of the
nature of this transaction.

Within the Department of Mining & Natural Resources
where I work as an Executive Accountant and with the
cooperation of four other top officials, we have in
our possession as overdue payment bills totaling
Twenty - One Million, Five Hundred Thousand U. S.
Dollars ($21,500,000.) which we want to transfer
abroad with the assistance and cooperation of a
foreign company/individual to receive the said fund
on our behalf or a reliable foreign non-company account
to receive such funds. More so, we are handicapped in
the circumstances, as the South Africa Civil Service
Code of Conduct does not allow us to operate offshore
account hence your importance in the whole
transaction.
This amount $21.5m represents the balance of the
total contract value executed on behalf of my Department by
a foreign contracting firm, which we the officials
over-invoiced deliberately. Though the actual
contract cost have been paid to the original contractor,
leaving the balance in the Tune of the said amount
which we have in principles gotten approval to remit
by Key tested Telegraphic Transfer (K.T.T) to any
foreign bank account you will provide by filing in an
application through the Justice Ministry here in
South Africa for the transfer of rights and privileges of
the former contractor to you.

I have the authority of my partners involved to
propose that should you be willing to assist us in
the transaction, your share of the sum will be 25% of the
$21.5 million, 70% for us and 5% for taxation and
miscellaneous expenses. The business itself is 100%
safe, on your part provided you treat it with utmost
secrecy and confidentiality. Also your area of
specialization is not a hindrance to the successful
execution of this transaction. I have reposed my
confidence in you and hope that you will not
disappoint me. Endeavor to contact me immediately on my
private e-mail address below. I want to assure you that my partners
and myself are in a position to make the payment of this
claim possible provided you can give us a very strong
Assurance and guarantee that our share will be secured
and please remember to treat this matter as very confidential
matter, because we will not comprehend with any form
of exposure as we are still in active Government
Service and remember once again that time is of the
essence in this business.

I wait in anticipation of your fullest co-operation.

NOTE:SEND CORRESPONDENCE TO [a different address than the sender]

Yours faithfully,

PATRICK FOSTER

I wonder if Mr. Foster knows Peter Campbell or Joseph Johnson (or Dr. Kaad Zias for that matter), who also are from "the South Africa DEPARTMENT OF MINERAL RESOURCES AND ENERGY" and spammed our good friend Nash? 25% of $21.5 million makes my total now $596.9 million promised!

On December 7, 2002, I got the following spam FOUR times from President Kabila's second wife:

ATT: Sir,
A Joint Venture
================
It is a pleasure to write you after much thoughts and consideration since I
can not see you first in person. Due to the little information so far we
gathered about you as a reliable trustworthy partner to work with, I have
develop the interest and trust to ask of your assistance which may possibly
lead to partnership investment.

I am the second wife of late president Laurent Kabila,I hope the news about the
death of my husband president the democratic, Republic of congo has flashed
across your country.

During my husband's tenure as president of congo, he lodged some fund in a bank
in Abidjan.with the name of my son,he declared the fund in suspence account
for onward transfer.

He single-handed the small private metal box where the document is secured and
to me when he came back from Abidjan. Since after my husband's death, the
condition on my side has not been condusive for me and my son.

So for the safty of our life and this money , we have decided to leave Africa.
Thanks be to God, I am able to locate the bank now in Abidjan with most
confidentiality.

But the problem now is that the bank is asking me to provide account in
oversea to transfer in the fund ,rather demanding for that my late husband's
foriegn business partner of whom the money was to transfer to his account
oversea on behalf.

According to the decision and conclusion of I and my son,the area we need your
assistance most is to stand for us as my father's foriegn business partner and
to send us your bankig details also to demand from the bank their normal
proceedure to transfer the fund into your foreign nominated account deem safe
by you in your country there and also assist me to invest it after the
transfered .

Again I will need your idea as to inquire for political asylum there in your
country, opportuinity to help me for a more secured, proper document and
profitable areas to invest this money in your country.

However if you accept to assist us,we have go into partnership agreement and
document undersigned by the two parties that may involved . Hence, we have
resolved to gratify you for your kind assistance to be one of the shareholder
of any investment to be made with the money.

Please,I will need your response urgently and always treat this matter with
absolute confidentiality.

THANKS,
YOURS TRULY
Madam florence Kabila.
Email: [withheld; different]

What? No promise of money? Outrageous! Still, I liked this part - "Again I will need your idea as to inquire for political asylum there in your country" - yeah, like Herr Ashcroft if going to go for that...

December 9, 2002 I received a spam from a Nigerian bank manager who was NOT a doctor:

Attn: CEO/President

I am Mrs. Rita Effiong, the Manager private banking of Abc Mercantila Bank Plc of Nigeria, Lagos Branch. I have urgent and very confidential businews proposition for you.

On January 28th, 1997, an Asian Oil consultant / contractor with the Federal Ministry of Petroleum and Natural Resources, Mohd Faisal Ettian Bin Abdullah made a numbered time (fixed) Deposit for twelve calendar months, valued at US$23,299.500.00 (twelve - three million, two hundred and hundred and Ninety Nine Thousand , Five Hundred United State Dollars only) in my branch. Upon maturity, I sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got no reply.

After a month, we sent a reminder and finally we discovered from his contact employers, the Federal Ministry of Petroleum and Nutural Resources, that Mohd Faisal Ettian Bin Abdullah died from an automobile accident. On further investigation, I found out he died without making a WILL, and all attempts to trace her next of kin were fruitless.

I therefore made further investigation and discovered that Mohd Faisal Ettian Bin Abdullah did not declare any kin or relations in all official documents, including his Bank Deposit Paperwork in my Bank . This sum of US$23,299,500.00 is still sitting in my Bank and the interest is being rolled over with the pricipal sum at the end of each year. No one will come forward to claim it and according to Nigerian Law, at the expiration of 5 (five) years, the money will revert to the ownership of the Nigerian Government if nobody applies to claim the fund.

Consequently, my proposal is that I will like you to stand in as the next of kin to Mohd Faisal Ettian Bin Abdullah so that the fruits of his labour will not get into the hands of some corrupt government offiocials. This is simple, I will like you to provide immediately your full names and address so that the attorneys will prepare the necessary documents and affidavits which will put you in place as the next of kin. We shall employ the service of Attorneys to process and notarization all the necessary documents and letter of probate/administration in your favour in order for the transfer to take place . A bank account in any part of the world which you will provide will then facilitate the transfer of this money to you as the beneficiary/next of kin. The money will be paid into your account for us to share in the ratio to suite both parties without any conflict.

There is no risk at all as all paperwork for this transaction will be done by the attorneys and my position as the manager guarantees the successful execution of this trasnaction. If you are interested, please reply immediately via the private email address below. Upon your response, I shall then provide you with official clarifications, more details and relevant documents that will help you understand the trasnaction and proof.

Please observe and treat with utmost personal, and rest assured that this transaction would be most profitable for both of us because i shall require your assistance to invest my share in your country. It is 100% risk free for both parties.

Await your urgent reply along with your private phone number to enable me furnish you with all necessary official informations and confirmation.

Thanks and regards.

Mrs. Rita Effiong.
NOTE: REPLY ON THE ABOVE EMAIL ADDRESS:
ASAP

Wow! In Nigeria, I am considered "CEO/President" of Rants in Your Pants! Still, I am in shock that there is a bank manager who isn't a doctor... And another "Asian Oil consultant / contractor " mysteriously dies in an "automobile accident". Has someone contacted CSI? I think there may be some foul play involved... Another $24 million promised to me gives me $620.9 million promised so far!

And still, the e-mails continue...

Continue on to Part 6