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The Worst Spam
Ever!
Part 4...
Continued from Part
3...
On September 21, 2002, I got this spam:
FROM: MORGAN
YAKUBU
RESIDENCE : ABIDJAN-IVORY COAST
ATTN
IT IS MY PLEASURE TO WRITE YOU AFTER GOING THROUGH
MUCH PRAYING AND FASTING,
CONSIDERING THAT I HAVE NOT SEEN YOU FACE TO FACE .
BEING THE ONLY CHILD OF MY FATHER LATE CHIEF SILAS
YAKUBU FROM ZULU IN THE REPUBLIC OF SOUTH AFRICA, I AM
23.MY FATHER WAS A LIMITED LIABILITY COCOA AND GOLD
MERCHANTIN (SA)BEFORE HIS DEATH ,PRECISELY A WEEK
AFTER HIS RETURN FROM IVORY COAST WHERE HE WENT TO
NEGOTIATE FOR A COCOA BUSINESS.
HE DIED WITH MY MOTHER IN A GHASTLY MOTOR ACCIDENT,OUR
MOTHER DIED INSTANTLY BUT MY FATHER DIED FOUR DAYS
LATER IN A HOSPITAL, BUT BEFORE HE DIED, AS IF HE KNEW
,HE DISCLOSED TO ME THAT HE DEPOSITED THE SUM
OF ($15,000,000:00)FIFTEEN MILLION US DOLLAR IN ONE
TRUCK BOX IN ONE OF THE SECURITY COMPANY HERE IN
ABIDJAN COTE'D'IVIORE AND GAVE ME ALL THE NECESSARY
DOCUMENTS
PLEASE FOR YOUR INFORMATION THE CONTEXT OF THE BOX
WAS NOT DISCLOSED TO THE SECURITY COMPANY BECAUSE OF
SOME SECURITY REASONS IT WAS DEPOSITED AS FAMILY'S
ART CRAFT BY MY FATHER
I HAVE ARRIVED IN ABIDJAN (IVORY COAST) LOCATED THE
SECURITY COMPANY AND COMFIRMED THE BOX AND HAVE
EQUALLY CALLED THE DIRECTOR OF THE SECURITY COMPANY
AND INFORM HIM OF OUR INTENTION TO CARRY OUT THE
CONSIGNMENT WITH THE HELP OF MY PARTNER IN LESS
THAN ONE MONTH
NOW WITH MOST HONEST AND CONFIDENTIALITY WE SOLICITING
YOUR ASSISTANCE CLEAR THE CONSIGNMENT FROM THE
SECURITY COMPANY SO THAT THE MONEY CAN BE TRANSFERRED
THIS FUNDS TO YOUR ACCOUNT ABROAD SO THAT I WOULD
INVEST IT IN ANY LUCRATIVE BUSINESS WHICH YOU WOULD
INTRODUCE ME INTO OVER THERE .
AS YOU CAN SEE THIS MONEY IS MY HOPE IN LIFE, SO I
WANT TO INVEST IT WISELY .PLEASE FOR THE SAFETY OF OUR
LIFES, PLEASE TREAT THIS MATTER WITH HIGH
CONFIDENTIALITY .
I HAVE RESOLVED TO COMPANSATE YOU HIGHLY FOR YOUR
NOBLE ASSISTANCE TO ME WITH 15% OF THE TOTAL MONEY.
I AWAIT ANXIOUSLY TO HEAR FROM YOU SO THAT WE WILL
DISCUSS THE MODALITIES OF THIS TRANSACTION.
THANKS AND GOD BLESS you
YOURS SINCEREILY,
MORGAN YAKUBU
I actually received this FOUR times. Anyway,
it begins "IT
IS MY PLEASURE TO WRITE YOU AFTER GOING THROUGH MUCH PRAYING AND FASTING,
CONSIDERING THAT I HAVE NOT SEEN YOU FACE TO FACE .".
Thank God for that, I bet you aren't a pretty sight after much fasting!
Then, "HE
DIED WITH MY MOTHER IN A GHASTLY MOTOR ACCIDENT... BUT MY FATHER DIED FOUR
DAYS LATER IN A HOSPITAL, BUT BEFORE HE DIED, AS IF HE KNEW ,HE DISCLOSED
TO ME THAT HE DEPOSITED THE SUM OF ($15,000,000:00)FIFTEEN MILLION US
DOLLAR I... AND GAVE ME ALL THE NECESSARY DOCUMENTS"
- glad to see that the accident wasn't so bad that he was unable to get
all the secret documents for you! As the Church Lady says, "How
conveeeeeeenient!" Then, "I
WOULD INVEST IT IN ANY LUCRATIVE BUSINESS WHICH YOU WOULD INTRODUCE ME
INTO OVER THERE ." - yeah, how about taking
these shares of Enron and WorldCom off my hands? And, as always "PLEASE
TREAT THIS MATTER WITH HIGH CONFIDENTIALITY" -
yeah, we don't want the other 20,000,000 spammers to get wind of this....
He promised me only 15% of $15 million, so that
equates to $2.25 million, bringing my
total up to: $455.65 million!
On October 16, 2002, I got this spam:
I am Dr Augustine
abebe director in the budget and planning
department of the Nigeria National petroleum Corporation (N.N.P.C), I head
a seven man Tenders Board Committee in charge of contract award and
Payment approvals. I came to know of you in my search for a reliable and
reputable person to handle a very confidential transaction, which involves
the transfer of a huge sum of money to a foreign account.
There were series of contracts executed by a consortium of Multinationals
in the oil industry in favour of the (N.N.P.C) among which were;
1)The expansion of Pipeline network within Nigeria
for crude oil and down stream products distribution
and subsequent evacuation at US$2 Billion.
2)Contract for Turn Around Maintenance (TAM) of
various Refineries in the country.
3)The construction of Storage Tanks for Petroleum
Product (Depots)at US$94 Million.
The original value of of these contracts were deliberately over invoiced
in the sum of Eightteen Million Five Hundred Thousand United States
Dollars (US$18,500,000.00) which has recently been approved and now ready
to be transferred. However the companies that actually executed the
aforementioned contract have been fully paid and the projects officially
commissioned.
Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount
into your account for subsequent disbursement, since we as civil servants
are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service Laws)from
opening and/or operating foreign accounts in our names.
Needless to say, the trust reposed in you at this juncture is enormous. In
return, we have agreed amongst ourselves to offer you 20% of the
transferred sum, 5% shall be set aside for any incidental expenses during
the course of this transaction, you will then be mandated to revert the
balance to us in due course.
You must however NOTE that this transaction is subject
to the follwing terms and conditions; our conviction of your transparent
honesty and dilligence, that you must accord this transaction with utmost
confidentiality and secrecy.
Modalities have been worked out at the highest levels
of the Ministry of Finance, Central Bank of Nigeria and the Presidential
Task Force on Contract Payment for the immediate remittance of the funds
within 10 -14 working days subject to your satisfaction of the above
terms. Our assurance is that your role shall be totally risk free . To
accord this transaction the legality it deserves, and for mutual security
of funds, the whole procedures shall be legally processed with your name
or any company you may nominate as the bona fide final beneficiary.
Once more, I want you to understand that having put in
over 20years in the Civil Service of my country, I am very much averse to
having my image and career dented. This matter should therefore be treated
with utmost secrecy and urgency. Kindly expedite immediate action as we
are well behind schedule to enable us include this transfer in the third
batch of the 2002 fiscal year contract payments.
BEST REGARDS,
Dr.Augustine Abebe.
I actually received this one twice. My
favorite part - "since
we as civil servants are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil
Service Laws)from opening and/or operating foreign accounts in our names"
- hey, Section 419 of the Nigerian criminal code prohibits fraud, but that
doesn't seem to stop you! And this one - "I
came to know of you in my search for a reliable and reputable person to
handle a very confidential transaction" -
well, you didn't search very hard. Still, 20% of the $18.5 million
means another $3.7 million promised! This brings my grand total to:
$459.35 million!
On October 22, 2002, I got
this spam from an idiot:
SUBJECT: TOP OF
THE DAY
ATTN:THE
PRESIDENT/C.E.O.
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am DR. Yetunde Bassey. Bank Manager of Diamond Bank of Nigeria,
Lagos Branch. I have urgent and very
confidential business proposition for you.
On June 6, 1999, a FOREIGN Oil consultant/contractor
with the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation, Mr.
Barry Kelly made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit for
twelve calendar months, valued at US$25,000,000.00
(Twenty- five Million Dollars) in my branch. Upon
maturity, I sent a routine notification to his
forwarding address but got no reply. After a month,
we sent a reminder and finally we discovered from his
contract employers, the Nigerian National Petroleum
Corporation that Mr. Barry Kelly died from an
automobile accident. On further investigation, I found
out that he died without making a WILL, and all
attempts to trace his next of kin was fruitless.
I therefore made further investigation and discovered
that Mr. Barry Kelly did not declare any kin or
relations in all his official documents, including his
Bank Deposit paperwork in my Bank. This sum of
US$25,000,000.00 is still sitting in my Bank and the
interest is being rolled over with the principal sum
at the end of each year. No one will ever come
forward to claim it. According to Nigerian Law, at
the expiration of 5 (five) years, the money will
revert to the ownership of the Nigerian Government if
nobody applies to claim the fund.
Consequently, my proposal is that I will like you as
an Foreigner to stand in as the next of kin to Mr.
Barry Kelly so that the fruits of this old man’s labor
will not get into the hands of some corrupt government
officials. This is simple, I will like you to provide
immediately your full names and address so that the
Attorney will prepare the necessary documents and
affidavits, which will put you in place as the next of
kin. We shall employ the service of an Attorney for
drafting and notarization of the WILL and to obtain
the necessary documents and letter of
probate/administration in your favor for the transfer.
A bank account in any part of the world, which you
will provide, will then facilitate the transfer of
this money to you as the beneficiary/next of kin. The
money will be paid into your account for us to share
in the ratio of 60% for me and 30% for you.10% Will be for settling
expences on my part and yours,also for tax when the funds arrive
yourcountry.
There is no risk at all as all the paperwork for this
transaction will be done by the Attorney and my
position as the Branch Manager guarantees the
successful execution of this transaction. If you are
interested, please reply immediately via the private
email address below. Upon your response, I shall then
provide you with more details and relevant documents
that will help you understand the transaction.
Please observe utmost confidentiality, and rest
assured that this transaction would be most profitable
for both of us because I shall require your assistance
to invest my share in your country.
Awaiting your urgent reply.
Via the following email addresses:[withheld]
Thanks and regards.
DR. YETUNDE BASSEY.
I call this spammer an idiot for two reasons.
One, he sent the spam to the e-mail address I have posted all over this
site (obviously the spammer has never bothered to visit this site).
Secondly, a quick IP look-up showed that the spam originated in Ireland -
as if the subject (SUBJECT:
TOP OF THE DAY) didn't make it a dead
giveaway! Still, another 30% of $25 million means another $7.5
million promised to me, which brings my total up to: $466.85 million.
Still, though, the most valuable part of the spam is the reminder that I
never, ever, want to fly a plane or drive in a car in Africa; look how
unsafe they are! (Yeah, like THAT is going to happen any time
soon...)
On October 23, 2002, I got
this spam from Dr bello Abba:
Dear sir,
It is My humble Pleasure to write you this letter irrespective
the fact that you do not know me.However i got your contact through
you company's profile in you country's embassy here in Nigeria Division
of trade,tourism and commerce,in my eanest search for a reliable
and trustworthy individual or group that can handle a confidential
business of this magnitude.
My name is DR.BELLO ABBA a family lawyer to the late General sanni
Abacha's Family,the former Nigerian Head of State.After his Dead
the Government that succeded them recently the wife and other menbers
of the family were banned from overseas travels and are currently
held up in thiercountry home Kano state.Although some money in foreign
currencies were recovered from thier Apartment in thier attempt
to move some Boxes containing foreign currency Totalling US45$M
United states Dollars to a security company in (LONDON)United kindom for
safe keeping.
The money in question US45$M United state dollars has Already satated in a
security vault in (LONDON)United kindom and if you agree to asist us to
clear the consignment,we will go ahead to present you as the beneficiary
of the funds,you will be entitled to 30% of the total amount.in this case
you will travel to (LONDON)United kindom to claim these boxes.then the
money will be in your custody for Investment in you country.the security
company has spoken to Mrs.Abacha to come and claim her luggages in their
custody.
NOTE:there is no risk involve in this transaction as i am invilve
as thier trusted confidant.Therefore if you should be intrested
in this business,keep it as top SECREET and be prepred to do more
lucrative business with us.and also send you contact Address and
telephone and fax number for easy communication.
I await for your urgent response.
Best regards,
DR.BELLO ABBA.
Wow - I don't think I have ever seen as many
grammar and spelling errors in a spam as I have in this one! Sheesh,
buy a spellchecker! I expected that someone as educated a doctor
would have taken an English class or two along the way. Anyway, the
30% of $45 million works out to $13.5 million, which brings my total up to
$480.35 million.
On October 27, 2002, I received the following
e-mail from "house of senate":
FROM THE DESK
OF;Senator A.Rasheed Gbadamosi,
!07 SECTARIAT ROAD IKOYI LAGOS
NIGERIA.
Dear sir,
On behalf of group of Nigeria Senators i hereby
propose the above to you.
I am Senator A.Rasheed Gbadamosi.Chairman Senate Committee on
Contracts Review and foreign payments. There is
presently available the sum of US$50m {Fifty Million
United States Dollars} which members of this committee
wish to transfer into your account, to be used for our
re-election in 2003 general elections in Nigeria.
SOURCE OF FUND. This amount was realized from inflated
or over-invoiced aspect of contracts executed by some
foreign firms in 1999 when Nigeria hosted the world
youth soccer Championship.ln the course of our duty we
observed that there were some un-paid claims.lt is one
of them that we intend to lodge into your bank account
for our mutual benefit.
REMUNERATION. We have unanimously agreed that you will
be entitled to 30% of the total sum, while 10%
is set aside to offset expenses incurred during the
transaction.
INVESTMENT. You will be required to place 60% of the
total sum into any high yield investment facility in
your country, for an initial duration of 8 months.
During the 2003 elections, you will return 30% to us,
but this time as a foreign loan for our election
purposes. The accrued interest and the remaining 30%
is what you will re-invest in the same process for a
period of 4 years.
OPERATIONAL MODALITIES. We shall present you as one of
the contractors awaiting payment for over-due contract
payment for job executed for the Federal Republic of
Nigeria in 1999.Application for claims, processing of
approvals will be undertaken by my committee in
conjunction with some highly placed officials, to
ensure that fund is wired into your nominated bank
account.
REQUIREMENTS. Your company details, banking details,
as well as your confidential tel and fax numbers
should be sent to me immediately to indicate your
interest.
CONCLUSION. You do not stand any risk at all for being
parts of this project, and your present line of
business or profession is no hindrance. Honestly, our
re-election in 2003 will be determined by this
transaction and your ability to partner with us in all
sincerity will enhance its success.
Note: That this transaction is expected to last
between 7-14 days from the time we received this
information, so i am waiting for your reply via my
private e-mail address Thanks for your co-operation and understanding
while
your urgent response is expected.
Yours faithfully
Senator A.Rasheed Gbadamosi (for the group)
Hmmm - a senator who stole money from a youth
soccer program. It appears that Nigerian senators aren't all that
different from our American variety! But, 30% of $50 million equates
to another $15 million promised, bringing my total to... $495.35 million!
On October 28, 2002, I got this spam from another
"doctor":
DEAR SIR,
MY NAME IS DR ANDREW ALLEN. I AM THE MANAGER CREDIT
AND ACCOUNTS DEPARTMENT OF NORTH-ATLANTIC SECURITIES
COMPANY LTD.LOME - TOGO REPUBLIC.
I WRITE YOU IN RESPECT OF A FOREIGN CUSTOMER WITH A/C
NUMBER 14-255-2004/UTB/T. WHO AMONG OTHERS ON BOARD
HAD A PLANE CRASH IN USA IN 1999.
ALL ON BOARD PERISH AND DIED IN THE PLAN CRASH.
SINCE THE DEMISE OF THIS OUR CUSTOMER MR LEVY
SHIMONY A LEBANESE IMPORT AND EXPORT TYCOON HERE IN
LOME TOGO .
I HAVE KEPT A CLOSE MONITORING OF THE DEPOSIT RECORDS
AND ACCOUNTS SINCE THEN NO BODY HAS COME TO CLAIM THE
MONEY IN THIS A/C AS NEXT OF KIN TO THE LATE MR LEVY
SHIMONY HAS ONLY $14.5MLLION IN HIS A/ C AND THE A/C
IS CODED IT IS ONLY AN INSIDER THAT COULD PRODUCE THE
CODE OR PASSWORD OF THE DEPOSIT PARTICULARS.AS
IT STANDS NOW THERE IS NOBODY IN THAT POSITION TO
PRODUCE THE NEEDED INFORMATION OTHER THAN MY VERY SELF
CONSIDERING MY POSITION IN THE COMPANY .
BASED ON THE REASONS THAT NOBODY HAS COME FOR THE
CLAIMS OF THE DEPOSIT AS NEXT OF KIN, I SEEK FOR YOUR
CO OPERATION TO USE YOUR NAME AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO
THE DESEASED TO SEND THIS FUNDS OUT TO A FOREIGN
OFFSHORE
BANK A/C FOR MUTUAL SHARING BETWEEN ME AND YOU ONLY AS
I AM THE ONLY ONE WITH THE INFORMATION BECAUSE I HAVE
REMOVED THE DEPOSIT FILE FROM THE SAFE .
BY THIS DOING, WHAT IS REQUIRED OF YOU IS TO SEND AN
APPLICATION SEEKING CLAIMS OF THE DEPOSIT AS NEXT OF
KIN TO THE LATE MR SHIMONY.
I WILL SEND YOU SPECIMEN OF APPLICATION AS SOON AS YOU
CONFIRM YOUR READINESS TO ASSIST ME MOVE THE FUNDS OUT
OF THE VAULT OF OUR BANK.
NOTE: THE BANKING RULES AND REGULATIONS IN THIS
COUNTRY DOES NOT ALLOW SUCH DEPOSIT TO STAY MORE THAN
TWO YEARS AS AN EXPERTRIATES A/C , IF THE DEPOSIT
STAYS MORE THAN TWO YEARS THE FUNDS WILL BE SENT TO
THE TOGOLESE GOVERNMENT A/C AS UNCLAIMED DEPOSIT .
IN VIEW OF THIS DEVELOPMENT I BEG FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE
AND FULL CO-OPERATION TO COME AND LAY CLAIMED TO THIS
DEPOSIT AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO MR LEVY SHIMONY THERE IS
NO RISK INVOLVE IN THIS BUSINESS AS YOU WILL BE
EQUIPED WITH ALL VITAL INFORMATION OF THE DEPOSIT AND
THE A/C.
YOUR COUNTRY OF ORIGIN DOES NOT MATTER, WHAT MATTERS
IS YOU AS THE NEXT OF KIN HAVING ALL NECCESSARY
INFORMATION TO BACK UP YOUR CLAIMS .
NOTE THAT ALL MODALITIES FOR A HITCH FREE TRANSACTION
HAS BEEN PERFECTED FROM MY SIDE .I WILL SUPPLY YOU
WITH ALL THE A/C PARTICULARS .
I WILL NEED YOUR FULL NAME AND ADDRESS COMPANY OR
RESIDENTIAL SO THAT I CAN COMPUTERISE THEM TO TALLY
WITH NEXT OF KIN COLLUM IN THE CERTIFICATE OF
DEPOSIT.FINALLY I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT THE
REQUEST FOR A FOREIGNER AS THE NEXT OF KIN IS
OCCATIONED BY THE FACT THAT THE CUSTOMER WAS A
FOREIGNER AND FOR THAT ONLY REASON A LOCAL
CANNOT REPRESENT AS NEXT OF KIN.
I HAVE AGREED TO SHARE THIS MONEY WITH YOU IN THE
MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING OF 40%/60% YOU KEEP 40 WHILE I
KEEP 60 HOW ABOUT THAT ? YOU HAVE MERITED THIS
PERCENTAGE BECAUSE YOU WILL PROVIDE THE A/C WHERE WE
SHALL FINALLY TRANSFER THE FUNDS INTO ON A SUCCESSFUL
CLAIMING OF THE DEPOSIT.
MY 60% WILL REMAIN IN THE A/C PENDING MY ARRIVAL IN
YOUR COUNTRY FOR DISBURSEMENT AND SUBSEQUENT
INVESTMENTS .
LASTLY FOR THE IMMEDIATE TAKE OFF OF THIS TRANSACTION
YOU HAVE TO CONFIRM YOUR WILLINGNESS AND READINESS TO
ASSIST ME RETRIVE THIS DEPOSIT,THEN I WILL SEND TO YOU
BY FAX THE APPLICATION TEXT AND OTHER VITAL
INFORMATION YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE DEPOSIT .
I ASSURE YOU OF 100% RISK FREE TRANSACTION .
TRUSTING TO HEAR FROM YOU . GOD BLESS .
YOURS RESPECTFULLY ,
DR ANDREW ALLEN. .
Another businessman who died in a plane crash.
It is getting a little old - and so is the spam with the CAPS lock on.
Do you really think the all CAPS is going to make your spam more
appealing? But why is a doctor working as a credit manager?
Must not be a very good doctor... Still, he promised a measly 40% of
$14 million (must be because Togo isn't as wealthy as Nigeria), so that
means another $5.6 million, which means a total promised of $500.95
million!
On October 28, 2002, I also got a spam from
chinaecherem:
FROM THE
DESK OF:-
Dr Chinaec Uche
N.N.P.C
Dear sir,
URGENT AND CONFIDENTIAL
I am Dr.Chinaec Uche Chairman of Contract Award and Verification Panel set
up by Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC). I got your contact
from the Nigerian Chamber of Commerce and Industry, and after thorough
enquiries and deliberations, i and my coleagues decided to contact you for
a very confidential business transaction of mutual benefit.
During our verification exercise, we came across an over-invoiced
contract(contract No:NNPC/PED/1473/96).this contract was awarded in
july,1996 and completed in August,1998,and the original contractor has
since been paid his sum leaving the over-invoiced sum of US$25.5m(Twenty
five Million,Five Hundred Thousand United states Dollars)This amount has
been left floating in our account with the Central Bank of Nigeria, until
our recent discovery.My colleagues and i have decided to seek for
assistance of a realible partner into whose account the fund will be
transferred into for our use. if this proposal is acceptable to you,a
"Deed of Transfer" of the above contract and the sum to be transferred.
All necessary and relevant documents will be procured for the release and
transfer of the fund into your nominated account.An application for
foreign exchange allocation will be made on your behalf from my office to
the federal ministry of finance (FMF) and Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN)
For the subsequent release and transfer of the fund into your nominated
account. Be informed that we are working in collaboration with top
officials of the federal ministry of finance and the Central Bank of
Nigeria(CBN) who will assist us in the transfer of the fund. With your
cooperation the success of this transaction is guaranteed.
We have agreed to compensate you with 25% of the total sum , 70% will be
for me and my colleagues here, while the remaining 5% have been mapped-out
for miselleneous expenses that might be incurred by both parties during
the course of this transaction. All things being equal,this transaction
will be concluded within 14 workings days upon the day of receipt of your
response.
You are required to reply via this email address.please treat this
transaction with top priority and remember to keep it as confidential as
possible.
As soon as we receive your response, more details about how to proceed
will be given to you.
We await your prompt response.
Best Regards,
Dr.Chinaec Uche
Chairman
Contract Award & Verification Panel. .
It's very interesting that these companies keep
over invoicing their accounts without noticing. No wonder Nigeria
has such a hard time attracting outside investments... The 25% of
$25.5 million brings my total to: $507.325 million!
On October 30, 2002, I got this spam:
DEAR SIR,
I AM FRANK WALTER A CITIZEN OF SOUTH AFRICA, TECHNICAL DIRECTOR OF ZENON
OIL MULTI - NATIONAL CORPORATION IN NIGERIA. I AM SEEKING YOUR ASSISTANCE
TO TRANSFER THE SUM OF TEN MILLION DOLLARS ($10M)INTO YOUR ACCOUNT. PLEASE
HOW CAN YOU HELP OUT?. THIS MONEY WAS ACQUIRED FROM THE COMPANY AND I WANT
TO TRANSFER IT OUT OF THE COUNTRY FOR MY PRIVATE INVESTMENT, BECAUSE I
HAVE BEEN CHEATED BY THE COMPANY FOR TOO LONG SINCE I WAS PARALYSE AND
BECAUSE I AM NOT AN AFRICAN. I WILL BE LEAVING THE COUNTRY IMMEDIATELY THE
MONEY HAS BEEN TRANSFERRED OUT OF THE COUNTRY AND VOW NOT TO STEP MY LEG
IN AFRICA.PLEASE, I NEED YOUR URGENT RESPONSE BEFORE THEY START PLANNING
THEIR FUNNY TRICKS AGAINST ME.PLEASE YOU CAN ONLY GET BACK TO ME THROUGH
MY OWN E-MAILADDRESS
BEST REGARDS,
FRANK WALTER.
TECHNICAL DIRECTOR,
ZENON OIL MULTI - NATIONAL CORPORATION. .
The one thing I can't understand is these two
conflicting statements: "I
AM FRANK WALTER A CITIZEN OF SOUTH AFRICA" and
"I AM NOT AN
AFRICAN". So, he lives in Africa, but he
is not an African? Huh? So he is an alien or what?
Anyway, another $10 million brings my total to $517.325 million promised
to me by spammers!
On November 3, 2002, I got this spam:
Dear friend,
I am Chief Karibo Whyte (SAN), a solicitor at law. I am a personal
attorney to Mr. Gary Roger Scot, a foreign national, who used to work with
Shell Development Company in Nigeria (Here-in-after referred to as my
client). On the 21st of April 1999, my client, his wife and their three
children were involved in a car accident along Sagamu express road. All
occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost their lives. Since then I have
made several inquiries to the embassy to locate any of my client extended
relatives this has also proved unsuccessful. After these several
unsuccessful attempts, I decided to track his last name over the Internet,
to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you.
I have contacted you to assist in repatriating the money and property left
behind by my client before they get confiscated or declared unserviceable
by the bank where this huge deposit was lodge. Particularly, the union
bank p.l.c, where the deceased had an account valued at about Twelve
million, four hundred thousand united state dollars (US$12.4M) has issued
me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the account confiscated
within the next ten official working days. Since I have been unsuccessful
in locating the relatives for over 2 year now, I seek your consent to
present you as the next of kin of the deceased since you have the same
last name so that the proceeds of this account valued at (US$12.4M) can be
paid to you and then you and me can share the money. 60% to me and 40% to
you. I have all necessary legal documents that can be used to back up any
claim we may make. All I require is your honest co-operation to enable us
see this deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a
legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.
Do send your reply via my email address: . .
Best regards
Chief Karibo Whyte
Wow! A chief! But, according to the
story, "I decided to
track his last name over the Internet, to locate any member of his family
hence I contacted you." - yet, I know I am not
related to Gary Roger Scot. And then "
present you as the
next of kin of the deceased since you have the same last name"
- obviously, this guy is an idiot, as my last name is not the same.
And I love the "All I
require is your honest co-operation" - right
after the spammer discusses how he will pass you off as fake kin, complete
with fake documents. What's that saying about honor among thieves?
Anyway, 40% of $12.4 million is... $4.96 million. And my total is
now: $522.285 million.
On November 4, 2002, I got this spam:
SUBJECT: URGENT
BUSINESS PERTNERSHIP
From the privete
desk of
Barrister Devid Ebere
Port-Harcourt
Rivers state Nigeria
REQUEST FOR BUSINESS PARTNERSHIP
Dear Sir ,
How are you today? I hope this my letter will meet you in good health.
First of all, let me introduce myself to you. I am personal Attorney to
Peter C. Odili, the governor of River State, Now my client His Excellency
Mr. Peter C Odili who is the governor of River State has for long kept
$15.5 million US dollars in a Finance company for business establishment.
Now my dear, we want to Establish business partner with you that is why I
decided to contact you in this urgent business assistance. I want a
fastest arrangement on how you will claim this fund as a foreign business
partner with governor Peter C. Odili. This money was deposited in the name
of his junior brother Mr. Frank Odili.
Immediately you declare you intention of partnership to claim this money
as a foreign business partner to Odili’s family, I will give you the
documents and the power of attorney that backs the fund. I am assuring you
that there is no risk behind this fund. This money will be used for an oil
business in Port-Harcourt Nigeria. So I want you to claim this money so
that we can use it for the oil business, which will be for both parties.
Why I have decided to contact you is because you are a trust worthy man
who can handle this business because I know you have the experience of oil
business. The oil well is in Port-Harcourt. There are oil wells which the
Government is about to sell out to interested buyers, which I will want
both of us to join hand as a business partner and buy it as soon as you
claim this fund. But bear in mind that if the fund is not enough for the
transaction you will assist financially to buy the oil well. This
transaction must be between you and the Federal government, the Governor
will only use his influence as the governor of rivers state to make thing
work out smoothly.
As soon as you indicate your interest in this project I shall tell you how
we are going to forge ahead and share the outcome of this fund from the
business. I shall also give you the name of the Finance company and more
details about the Finance company.
Call me as soon as you receive this message through this mobile phone
number: [withheld]
Expecting to hear from you. .
Barrister David Ebere
(Port-Harcourt Nigeria)
Another confused spammer. "I
know you have the experience of oil business."
Seems this guy must be confused from when I lived in Texas. What he
doesn't know is that Texas is a big state, and actually very few people
are oil workers. Still, a barrister - that's a new one for me!
A barrister, a senator, and a chief - all within a week! But, somehow I
don't think I will enter into a business "PERTNERSHIP"
with this guy. But, I am going to assume that I can get the entire $15.5
million, because I know the oil business so well. So, this brings my
total up to: $537.785 million.
On November 5, 2002, I got this spam:
FROM: DR, ADAMS
OBOZUWA.
TEL/FAX: [withheld]
E-MAIL:[withheld]
BUSINESS PROPOSAL
Dear sir / Madam
My name is DR, ADAMS OBOZUWA., a member of the Presidential
Task Force on Oil Spillage Clean-up. Early last year there
was a major oil spillage in the Niger Delta Region of
Nigeria which rendered over 70% of the communities
homeless.The contract was handled by a foreign firm but
because of the huge monetary profit we envisaged we decided
to over-invoice the contract sum. Now the contract has been
completed and the original contractor has since been
paid,but the contract balance of US$38 million,which
resulted from the over invoiced contract sum that has been
left in a suspense account with the DEBT RECONCILIATION
COMMITTEE A SUBSIDIARY OF THE APEX BANK,is what me and my
partners are planning to take out of the country for
ourselves.The problem is as government officials,we are not
suppose to own fat bank accounts,talk less of having
foreign ones.To this end, we are soliciting your assistance
as a foreign partner who can assist us and receive this
amount into your account. We are ready to share this money
with you on the basis of participation. We also have plans
to invest part of this money in any viable business in your
country under your care,as we are nearing our retirement
age. In any case, I received a reference of
you/organization from the Nigeria Chambers of Commerce and
Industry ‘Foreign Trade Division’ as a reputable organ that
can assist us on this transaction. Please if you accept my
proposal do not hesitate to send me a fax on [withheld]
or send me an e-mail on:
[withheld] , so that I can
provide you with the basic procedures for the release of
the fund. It does not matter whether you or your company
does contract project of the nature described here, the
assumption is that you won a major contract and
subcontracted it to another company, more often than not,
big trading companies or individuals of unrelated field win
major contracts here in Nigeria and subcontracts same to
more specialized firms for execution. BENEFIT For providing
the account where we shall remit this money, you will be
entitled to 25% of the entire funds, 70% will be for me and
my partners,while 5% has been set aside to cover any
expenses that may be incurred by both parties during this
transaction, both local and international. Please I enjoin
you to handle this transaction with utmost degree of
maturity and confidentiality because I am still in active
government service with the “NIGERIAN NATIONAL PETROLEUM
CORPORATION”. If I receive your response on time, this
whole transaction could be accomplished within the shortest
possible time based on your interest and
determination,since the money is already in transit.
Please, try to call me up to confirm the receipt of your
fax or e-mail.The lines may be busy,but keep trying till
you get through.
Yours faithfully,
DR, ADAMS OBOZUWA. (MNIM). .
So, let me get this straight: there was an oil
spill that left thousands of Nigerians homeless, and then the resulting
fund was over-invoiced to the tune of $38 million, but instead of using
that to actually house people, you want to give me 25% to help you screw
over your fellow countrymen. Right. And how did the spammer
find me? "I
received a reference of you/organization from the Nigeria Chambers of
Commerce and Industry ‘Foreign Trade Division’ as a reputable organ that
can assist us on this transaction." -
obviously the Nigeria Chambers of Commerce forgot the part where I have a
contest going and we mercilessly make fun of Nigerian spammers. Oh,
and don't call me an organ, you tool! Still, 25% of $38 million
means another $9.5 million, making my total $547.285 million promised!
Also on November 5, 2002, I got this spam:
FROM THE DESK OF
DR JIM KANANGA
NNPC
CONFIDENTIAL AND URGENT BUSINESS PROPOSAL
I am DR JIM KANANGA Chairman of Contract Award and
Verification Panel setup by the Nigerian National
Petroleum Corporation (NNPC). I got your contact from
the Nigeria Chamber of Commerce And Industries,and
after thorough enquiries and deliberations,I and my
colleagues decided to contact you for a very
confidential business transaction of mutual benefit.
During our verification exercise, we came across an
over-invoiced contract(Contract No: NNPC/PED/1473/96).
This contract was awarded in July,1996 and completed
in August, 1998, and the original contractor has since
been paid his contract sum leaving the over-invoiced
sum of US$25.5m(Twenty Five Million,Five Hundred
Thousand United States Dollars) This amount have been
left floating in our account with the Central Bank
of Nigeria, until our recent discovery. My colleagues
and I have decided to seek for the assistance of a
reliable foreign partner into whose account the fund
will be transferred into for our own use. If this
proposal is acceptable to you, a Deed of Transfer of
the above contract will be obtained on your behalf,
to empower you as the legal beneficiary of the
contract
and the sum to be transferred.
All necessary and relevant documents will be procured
for the release and transfer of the fund into your
nominated account. An application for foreign exchange
allocation will be made on your behalf from my office
to the federal ministry of finance (FMF) and the
Central Bank of Nigeria(CBN) for the subsequent
release and transfer of the fund into your nominated
account. Be informed that we are working in
collaboration with top officials of the federal
ministry of finance and the Central Bank of Nigeria
(CBN)who will assist us in the transfer of the fund.
With your cooperation the success of this transaction
is guaranteed.
We have agreed to compensate you with 25% of the total
sum and , 70% will befor me and my colleagues here
,while the remaining 5%have been mapped-out for
miscellaneous expensesthat might be incurred by both
parties during the course of thistransaction.
Allthings being equal, this transaction will be
concluded within 14working days upon the day of
receipt of your response.You are required to fax us
your nominated bank account details and your direct
telephone and fax numbers. Please treat this
transaction with top priority and remember to keep it
as confidential as possible.
As soon as we receive your response, more details
about how to proceed will be given to you.
We await your prompt response.
Best Regards,
Dr. jim kananga
Chairman,Contract Award & Verification Panel
Another doctor, but this one got my contact info
from "Nigeria Chamber
of Commerce And Industries". Hey, if you are a
doctor, shouldn't you be out saving people instead of e-mailing random
strangers about fraudulent scheme? 25% of $25.5 million means
another $6.375 million, so now I have amassed a total of $553.66 million!
And still, the e-mails continue...
Continue on to Part 5
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