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Mike's Adventure to Poland - 2002

Part 12: Beulah kills our fun

So, after spending a depressing day in Auschwitz and Birkenau, we went back to Krakow for some fun.  We walked around, ate pierogies, and ended up at a really cool bar called "C.K. Browar."

C.K. Browar is the only microbrewery we found in Poland, and they made excellent beer.  They played excellent music.  They had an amazing atmosphere.  And best of all - they serve beer in tall pipes with their own taps at your table, so you can be your own bartender.

But, unfortunately, C.K. Browar is also home to Beulah.

You see, C.K. Browar is a very popular place in Krakow.  There were a number of tables reserved for 8 PM, but we were there at 6 PM.  The hostess asked how long we would be staying for, and we replied not longer than two hours, so she seated us at a table and brought us our pipe of beer.

This large woman, who looked dead-on like Beulah Balbricker from the Porky's movies, came by and slapped a huge reserved sign on our table.  Then, she barked at us in Polish and pointed to the sign.  Our waitress came by and explained that we had to be gone by 8 PM.  Again, we said no problem.

Beulah Ballbricker from "Porky's"
Beulah Balbricker from Porky's for all you youngsters out there.

So, we decided we would take pictures of the cool beer pipe.  But, Beulah's sign was in the way, so I took it down for a second.  Beulah came over, grabbed the sign, and stuck it back up there.  So, as she left, I took it down again.  Then, she came by and walked right in front of my camera as Esther took my picture.  And, because her ass was so huge, it blocked all the light, so you can't see us!

Beulah's large ass
A great photo ruined by Beulah's huge ass!

Then, after the above photo, Beulah turns, grabs the sign, and again hangs it up on the pole.  She really wanted those signs to stay on those poles!  But, again I took it down and Esther got a great shot.  After the picture was taken, I put the sign back up so Beulah would be happy.

Our group in the Krakow Microbrewery
Us at the bar.  Note the reserved sign sitting on the table, and note the way cool beer pipe!  BTW, that is me, Robin, Joe, and Scott.  And that huge thing of great beer only cost us about $8!

So, after some beer, we decided to go play some darts.  It was only 6:30 PM, and we still had an hour and a half before we had to leave our table.  So, we started playing darts on one of those electronic dart boards.  As we are playing, it's a close game, and Beulah comes up at around 7 PM and yells something in Polish at us.  We try to explain that we are playing darts and that we will finish soon.  No one was waiting for us, and we weren't disturbing anyone.  However, a minute later, Beulah walks over and unplugs our dart game!  What a bitch!

What do I do?  I know one Polish curse word, which my friend Pawel shared with me before I left for Poland.  I told it to one of the Polish guys we worked with, who told me "that is not a good word."  So, I dropped that bomb on Beulah.  However, it didn't phase her!  Nothing!

Now we were really pissed!  We had to do something!

Then, Robin came up with a great idea: all night Beulah had been protecting her "reserved" signs at our table.  So, when we left, we stole the sign from our table - as well as three other tables around us!  Oh, sweet, sweet revenge!

Beulah's "Reserved" Sign
Hey, Beulah: We got your signs!

If you go to Krakow, check out C.K. Browar, but watch out for Beulah!

Continue on to Part 13: Wawel