|
Ana and the False
Spam
Nash just sent me this. Seems he is a
little too eager sometimes in his quest to stop spam...
-- Mike
2 days ago it was my birthday...
I was very tired when I returned home,
these days I am working as an illustrator
in the court. (It is "The trial of the Century"
here in Greece, for the terrorist organisation
"17 November" ...)
As I said, I was extremely tired.
Among other greetings and 4-5 spam mails
I got this mail from an address unknown to me...
----------
From: <"SPAMMER"@hotmail.com>
I changed the address
Date: Thu, 06 Mar 2003 22:21:36 +0000
To: Nash
Dear Nash,
Happy Birthday!!! God shall give you other 100 pleasant years together with
your wonderful wife!
Today id your greatest opportunity ever (God, thy name shall be
praised)!!!!!!!!!!
On your lucky day you may fulfill your dreams and make your wife the
happiest woman in the universe (Cosmic energy is streaming towards you!) !
COSMIC! COSMIC! COSMIC!!!!
May the stars enlighten your path! May the holy wisdom be with you forever!
May the mighty love of our father enrich your family! May the strength of
liberty break the chains of captivity! !! ! !!! ! ! !!
You know the way and you should follow it! Happiness will find you!
Centuries of grateful descendants will adorn the persistence of your name.
COSMIC! COSMIC! COSMIC!
Like a deer in Chinese Highlands you feel the rain from the East and you
cross the big water.
Like a koala climbing the tree of life, (Eucalyptus is good for cough!
COSMIC! COSMIC! COSMIC!) you stick to the values.
But you may know and as we know you will appreciate (COSMIC! COSMIC!
COSMIC!) that this shall not in any way be endangered.
Like a Finish Snowmouse, you fill the cups but your thumb hurts. Danger!
The generous Mother Earth still suffers earthquakes; never abandon hope and
serenity.
Fasten your seatbelts.
Never ever again your serenity will be jeopardized!
Like the water runs downwards, your may follow the circle of nature.
The gypsies cry when it?s sunny because afterwards it will be rainy.
This is the course of Nature. COSMIC! COSMIC! COSMIC!
Nash, this is your moment! COSMIC!
COSMIC! COSMIC!
Share your luck and God will be with you when the well gets dry. (In the
abundance of water, only the fool is thirsty! COSMIC! COSMIC! COSMIC!)
You may wish good luck and happy days to your brothers all over the world.
Monday, Thursday, happy days! COSMIC! COSMIC! COSMIC!
Why buy the chicken in the box when the hen is on the table?
You pay peanuts, you get monkeys. COSMIC! COSMIC! COSMIC!
If you don?t want a coconut to fall on your head, avoid the palm trees.
With just one US dollar each, if you send this mail 30 times back to my
account, you will receive it back 10 times, without the charge. COSMIC!
COSMIC! COSMIC!
May your life be fulfilled with joy.
But be aware of the evil ( PLEASE!) !!!
Don?t drink Coca Cola!
Don?t abandon yourself into despair, you will be rich very soon. COSMIC!
COSMIC! COSMIC!
Now you may cross the big water.
Kindly compile the following questionnaire:
1) What is further away: left or right?
2) What is closer? COSMIC! COSMIC! COSMIC!
3) Where is light?
4) How much do you spend on mortgage?
5) Is you wife multiorgasmic or macrobiotic?
6) Why?
7) Oh, why?
8) Do you know the sense of it all?
9) Is there any life in space?
10) What is your preferred cheese?
11) If light is so fast, why does it still take light years?
12) Why do you make your neighbors crazy?
13) .
14) ?
15) ??
Thirty times, thirty dollars, and you will have luck for all your life. Ever
lasting, ever fearful, ever living, COSMIC! COSMIC! COSMIC!
Nash GOOD LUCK!
________________
Again, I was tired....
I just read the first lines, seeing greetings for my birthday, I thought
that some hackers-spammers managed to hack into one of the
sites with greeting cards...(few of them were sent to me that day)
and use the addresses from there for their scams - as I was scrolling down the
message I saw that some 30 dollars were mentioned...
I was too busy to start my fight with the "spammers" so I just
decided to report the spam to their server (Hotmail), but I sent the
same mail to the "spammer" as well ...
__________________
From: Nash Chovek
Date: Fri, 07 Mar 2003 01:59:25 +0200
To: <abuse@hotmail.com>, <"SPAMMER"@hotmail.com>
Subject: Probably because I was sent a greeting card...
..I got this annoying SPAM! Please stop the spammer!
Attached: "Spammer's" mail
___________________
To my surprise I got an explanation from the same
address...
___________________
From: <"SPAMMER"@hotmail.com>
Date: Fri, 07 Mar 2003 08:28:41 +0000
To: Nash
Subject: Re: Probably because I was sent a greeting card...
Ja budaleeeeeeeeeee!!!!
Nadam se da mi sad nece blokirati adresu, sa koje chatujem sa mamom i sa
cerkom! Da si oma napisao ispravku Hotmail-u!!!!
P. i ja smo se bas lepo zabavili, a ti tako... E, svasta!
D.
My translation:
What a fooool!
I hope that my address is not going to be blocked, I chat from it with my
mother and daughter...
Write to hotmail right away that correction!
P. and me had a lot of fun writing it!
D.
____________
Then I sat down and read their mail. And then I laughed
with their twisted
minds...if you did not read it, read it now, it's good...
Well here's the follow up on this sad, sad, saga...
I wrote to hotmail again...
_____________
From: Nash Chovek
Date: Fri, 07 Mar 2003 19:19:13 +0200
To: <abuse@hotmail.com>, <"SPAMMER"@hotmail.com>
Subject: Mistaken abuse raport: "Probably because I was sent a greeting
card..."
It was a joke done by my friend who know that I am annoyed easily by spam mail.
Please ignore my previous mail. Thank you!
_____________
Then I got another mail from P.
_____________
From: <"SPAMMER"@hotmail.com>
Date: Fri, 07 Mar 2003 19:41:09 +0000
To: NASH
Subject: Re: Mistaken abuse raport: "Probably because I was sent a
greetingcard..."
Hi, Nash,
P. is writing!!
you, too tired to understand a joke?????
I can't believe this.
We were sure that stupidity of our letter was so evident that you could
never think of a serious spam mail.
Like the monkey on the trees, keep your eyes open!
I'm sorry if this upset you. SCUSI!
You may nontheless wish to trransefer some money from your account to mine.
No risk! We are friends!
say hello to the luckiest woman on earth,
P.
----------
Then I got an answer from Ana from hotmail...She closed
the account!
She worked fast, but probably did not get my correction soon enough.
Anyway, Congratulations, Ana! (I am sending this mail to her as well!)
This is a good advertising to hotmail!
_____
From: "MSN Hotmail Support" <abuse@css.one.microsoft.com>
Date: Fri, 7 Mar 2003 17:40:57 -0800
To: Nash Chovek
Subject: RE: CST108590687ID - Probably because I was sent a
greeting card...
Hello Nash,
Thank you for writing to MSN Hotmail.
This is Ana and this is in response to your complaint regarding the unwanted
message that you received. I understand how annoying it is to receive unwanted
messages.
I appreciate your bringing this matter to our attention. I have closed the
account you reported in accordance with the Hotmail Terms of Use (TOU). It is a
strict violation of the TOU for our members to send objectionable material of
any kind or nature using our service.
You can view our rules and regulations at:
http://privacy.msn.com/tou/default.asp
Remember that MSN Hotmail also has comprehensive online help available--just
click "Help" in the upper right corner.
Sincerely,
Ana S.G.
MSN Hotmail Customer Support
____________________
and then I wrote to Ana
_______
From: Nash Chovek
Date: Sat, 08 Mar 2003 12:58:56 +0200
To: MSN Hotmail Support <abuse@css.one.microsoft.com>
Bcc: "SPAMMER"@their
other e-mail>
Subject: Message to Ana!
Hi Ana,
I am very sorry, but my complaint was a mistake!
The message was a joke from very good friends
of mine who decided to send me a very original greeting
They know that I am easily annoyed by spam mail
and that I fight them (see http://www.rantsinyourpants.com/specials/nash_v_spammer.htm)
I did not get the joke because the very same day I got
another 5 spam messages together with few greetings for
my birthday, and I was busy...
Their message is actually funny and twisted, because of
their sick minds. Both of them were molested during
their childhood! So, if it is not too difficult for you,
please re-activate their account! Thanks in advance,
Nash
_______________
CONCLUSIONS:
1- All that glitters is not gold!
2- Hotmail is OK, because they employ good professionals like Ana!
(Whatever they pay her, it is not enough I am sure!)
3- If you are tired, go to sleep!
Stay tuned for more if they decide to
reply back! Also, don't miss
the original episodes of "Nash Versus the Spammers"! |